Control

I went to the gym like I do most weekday mornings. I came home with an agenda to attack my new website with a vengeance. I got home, talked to the husband about helping me (he is my built-in tech support), and had a game plan in my crazy brain. I sat down to work and had a question almost instantly. My tech-support, I mean, husband, came in and looked over my shoulder. I asked him why he was standing. He didn’t realize that he needed to make himself cozy. He was going to be there awhile.

We began working hitting some road blocks along the way. There was one point when we really got stumped and, surprise surprise, I cried. The hubs told me to take a break but I needed to push through. We got through the issue and found a good stopping point. My tech support was going to look into some things and I really did need a break.

I told myself all I was going to do that day was workout and work on the website. But when frustration crept in, I reverted back to my safe space: cleaning. It sounds funny but cleaning and organizing are a comforting place for me. They hold this space in my life because they bring me a sense of control. When things get heavy, hard, sad, confusing, anxious, or in any way out of control, I clean or organize. This time, I was coming after the Christmas decorations.

I literally broke my back cleaning up Christmas just so I could feel like I had a little control over my life. Creating a website is like learning a foreign language. I just want to know how to do it. Learning a new technical system is not my strong suit. Add on top of this my personal connection to the project, my passion and something I care deeply about, you get a mess of a girl. So, I took matters into my own hands and brought a little control back to my life.

“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” Philippians 1:6

Do you ever do this in your life? You feel anxious or sad or out of control so you turn to something to help you cope. Control is my vice. I don’t know what your vice is, but God does. He knows what you need when you feel like the walls are crumbling in around you. This is comforting news. So is Philippians 1:6. God is working in and through us and his work is good. We are not complete until the day we enter eternity. Our life is a journey and our destination is Heaven. He is working in us constantly: even in those moments when we feel out of control. No need for a vice. We have Him.

What are you avoiding today? What are you running from and what are you turning to instead? You see, the thing that is causing you angst will never go away no matter how hard you scrub the floors. It will be there until you face it and work it out. You will not gain freedom from the thing that frustrates you or confuses you or drops you to your knees in tears until you walk that road. As much as you feel out of control in that area, he is working in and through you guiding you to the other side. You only need to take his hand.

Love & Blessings,
Meg