Finding Faith in the Mess
Today, this Good Friday, your social media feeds will be filled with pictures of Christ on the cross and quotes about His death. people will lament about what happened on this fateful day. Most of us will scroll past because we are numb to it …
When we live in others’ perception of ourselves, we are deceived. When we live for our own perception of ourselves, we are deceived. Only God’s perception matters. I have a saying written on a chalkboard in my office. It reads, Confidence in Christ. I wrote the …
I did it, y’all.
I did what we all do.
I saw the controversial post and got sucked into the train wreck that is the comment feed left in its wake. This one wasn’t too bad. Well, in regards to today’s standards, that is.
I have a confession to make. I have noticed some anger welling up inside me. Let me give you some background to me so you understand. I am your textbook A-type personality. Micah 6:8 is my mantra. You better act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly or I’m comin’ after you. Not really. But, in my head I’m comin’ after you. I am a rule follower and if you break the rules, I ain’t playin’.
Now that you know my personality type, you can understand this anger that was percolating within me. I’ve had two phone calls in the past month that did not end well. Both were with front-desk people in the medical field. Both wanted something from me that had absolutely nothing to do with the health and well-being of the persons involved. They wanted more money from me withholding prescriptions until we did this and that. This was not a matter of unpaid bills. Instead, it was a matter of our broken healthy system. But, this is not what this post was about.
Anyway, like I was saying. Anger. It spewed from me like something I haven’t seen in a very long time and don’t want to really ever see again. I was not horrible, yet, I was not loving and kind either. If they found my blog, they would probably wonder if I were the same person.
I then come across this friend’s post. I notice someone says something horribly unkind to the poster. The person who post this is someone I love, respect, and care deeply for. My first instinct? Teach this comment-er that those words were not okay. And then I took a breath. I didn’t respond to the negative comment. I usually don’t. I just can’t. It’s not my thing; not my way. Yet, I felt like I had to do something. I had that stirring, the good kind, within me.
I decided to comment to the poster. I let her know she is loved not despicable. That she is beautiful and valued no matter what she posts. I saw in that moment that it doesn’t matter what we post, what we say, or how we act. I mean, it does matter, BUT when God looks at us do you know what He sees?
Jesus.
The words, the comments, the posts they all fade away when God looks our way. Instead He sees His Son. And if God can see His Son through all the harsh words and anger, than I can too.
As odd as this sounds, I needed that post. I needed to see it so I could be reminded of how God sees us. He doesn’t see our anger. He sees forgiveness. He doesn’t see our nasty posts online. He sees love. He doesn’t see our mistakes. He sees the scares on His Son’s hands.
He sees Jesus.
And so do I.
The next time I get wrapped up in this cold harsh world, I will choose to see Jesus. The next time I am wronged, I will choose to see Jesus. The next time I am wrapped up in some kind of injustice, I will choose Jesus. The next time I feel anger towards someone who wronged me, I will choose to see Jesus.
You are loved. You are beautiful. You are valued.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
Jesus
Jesus
You make the darkness tremble
Tremble
By: Mosaic MSC
DISCLAIMER: I wrote this post one year ago. Four years ago, my eyes were opened to a major personality flaw. We had just sold our house and moved about twenty minutes away into an apartment. We were building another house and it wouldn’t be ready …
Social media. I have a love/hate relationship with you. I love that you keep me connected with people: my family and friends from near and far currently and from the past. I love cheering on friends from the other side of the screen; excited for …
DISCLAIMER: I wrote this post five years ago. I cannot believe it has been five years since that eye-opening moment in my life. It was a very difficult season, but could not be more thankful that it happened. I truly believe we need to talk about this. We openly talk about and celebrate physical health. It is time we do the same for our mental and emotional state. Know you are LOVED. You are VALUED. your life has MEANING. You are NOT alone.
Fear.
Anxiety.
Unknown.
Shaken.
Worry.
Paralysis.
My mom tells a story about me when I was three years old. I used to play in our backyard and collect snails. Don’t judge. I was quite the tomboy as a kid. I would take these snails and line them up in a perfect row. I would have them “march” and get upset if they got out of line. The underlying joke in our family is that I have not changed. I like my things, my life, lined up perfectly. If something gets out of place, I get upset. While I know ultimately I am not in control, I strive for this life of stability and all my ducks in a row.
I have learned that this is not how God works. He loves to bless us and give us an abundant life but will move and shift in our lives so that our faith will grow and flourish. I think He thought it awfully funny when He designed our family. Jackson was planned and his birth and the timing of it, perfect. Grady and Wyatt? Not so much. Their pregnancies and births were a whirlwind. I believe giving me three boys so close in age makes God giggle. He knew the chaos it would create and how opposite this was of my personality. I clean up one disaster only to turn around to another. Giving me chaos through my children wasn’t enough, though. He needed to get my attention more boldy.
So, Scott began to travel for work, we put our house on the market, it sold in 21 days, and He moved us into a small space far from the only area I knew and where I was completely comfortable. He also added a foreman who was difficult to work with. As strange as this sounds, He knew exactly what I needed. When we first moved I was excited for the adventure ahead. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that He led us to this place; this mark on our journey. What I wasn’t prepared for was how my body, mind, heart, and soul would react. Over the past six months I have traveled to a place I never thought I would land. I am an emotional creature. I wear my heart on my sleeve and cry at the drop of a hat. However, I usually have my moment and move on.
Last Wednesday, however, I could not move on. I could not pull myself out of the “moment” I was having. I began having chest pains and experiencing a lot of fear and anxiety. The scariest part was that I felt out of control. I could not contain my fear. I was out of control. Thankfully I am surrounded by an abundance of love. My friend basically forced me to go to the doctor (I am forever thankful) and God provided the most amazing doctor. He checked my heart since I was convinced I was having a heart attack and found nothing. Praise the Lord. What he did find after spending time talking with me is that I am under a lot of stress and anxiety. I felt better knowing my heart was healthy but I felt defeated and disappointed in myself at the same time. Have you ever felt this way? So much guilt, shame, and disappointment in myself because I could not combat this on my own.
It’s taken me a week to share my story. The weekend after my demise was our women’s conference coincidentally entitled, Fearless. I was scared to go (go figure) because I knew my mental and emotional state and didn’t want to hear all these sob stories that have been infiltrating my life for months now and feel like this life is only about suffering. Thankfully the conference was quite the opposite. I left feeling empowered and ready to take back my life. You see, this battle for my mind, body, and soul has nothing to do with me and this world. It has everything to do with Him, the plans HE has for my life and my purpose, and the spiritual battle that is occurring trying to keep me from fulfilling what He created me to do. If Satan gets a hold of me just right, he can tranquilize me from living to my fullest potential for Him. I left filling bold, courageous, and ready to live fully in light of His glory and grace. I no longer want to be afraid. I don’t want to question or fear the unknowns. I want to live for Him in each moment of everyday.
I share my story for two reasons. I believe there are countless women in my predicament. We are battling to stay sane; to not fear what might be and I want you to know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.. I also share my story because there is a very real battle going on for our souls. Many of us are succumbing to the enemy allowing him to paralyze us so that we stop living preventing others from seeing the kingdom of God. I am not cured. I still fear, worry, and fret. But now I know the source and I am ready for battle.
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given you. But when you ask, you must believe because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.” James 1:2-6
Love & Blessings,
Meg
I wake-up every day afraid. Well, not exactly. I don’t jolt out of bed in fear every morning. I do, however, battle all the things, all the feelings, with each day that comes my way. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication …
He was sitting at the counter, his dad beside him. It was early; before 7am. They were working through some last minute math homework. Never-mind the fact that he had ALL weekend to complete his assignment. Who am I kidding? I would have put off …
You know what I like? When I get on Facebook and one of those silly links becomes popular and my entire feed is filled with “What will you look like as a super model?” or “What will you look like in old age?” It’s a nice shift from the combative debates.
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
John 10:10
We are distracted. The “thief” (Satan) has come into our world and stolen our focus. We are so busy in-fighting that we have forgotten how to listen. We are hyper-focused on being right that we have lost sight on how to love. We are fighting an “or” fight when, in reality, it’s an unifying “and” fight.
Let me explain. When tragedy strikes our world, we come out with a vengeance. We are battle-ready with our swords (our words). We have one argument and that is the only one that matters. Are you pro-gun control? That’s your focus. Do you think we need to do more for mental health? Then this is your lane. There is no merging, no room for debate, no listening. One argument and one argument only.
Let me challenge us by saying, this is EXACTLY where Satan wants us. I know I just lost 95% of my readers by mentioning Satan, but bear with me. If Satan’s goal is to steal, kill, and destroy wouldn’t it behoove him to do this through tragedy? What better way to get to our souls than when we are trying to wrap our heads around innocent children being killed? He’s got his hook in us and he’s got it in deep.
“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”
1 Peter 5:8
We are not each others’ enemies. Let me say this again, we are not each others’ enemies. It is time we link arms and fight the real fight against the real enemy: Satan.
This argument we are having is not an “or” argument. We need to stop saying: “Gun control OR mental health.” This is an “and” fight.
Gun Control AND Mental Health
God AND Family
School Safety AND Community Involvement
The Enemy would love nothing more than for us to continue to have the “OR” fight. When he keeps us in this space he wins because he keeps us divided and distracted. I know many of us are uncomfortable talking about the “Enemy” but it is time we do. It is time we name-it claim-it and start fighting the real battle: not against flesh and blood (people/each other) but against the powers beyond us.
” For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.” Ephesians 6:12
Let’s start having more “AND” conversations and less “OR” arguments.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
