The Messy Mingling
I had a dream. I was at a conference and a speaker did not show. I was asked last minute to fill in. I did not have any content; nothing written down. I had gone as an attendee desperately wanting to fly under the radar and not be seen. I got up on stage wearing a sweatshirt, jeans, and tennis shoes. I stood before a crowd not knowing what to do or say.
And then it hit me.
I abruptly woke up the moment I read what was on my sweatshirt.
The Messy Mingling.
This.
This is it.
This is what the Lord has been preparing me for all these years.
The Messy Mingling.
My whole life has been neat. Let me say, I have had my fair share of messy moments. Like all of us, I have faced struggles and hardships so deep, so painful, I never thought I was going to push through. But, now that I am on the other side, I can honestly say I could wrap my life up in a beautiful box and pretty bow.
Everything in its place.
All the throw pillows coiffed perfectly on the couch.
The to-do list on the fridge written using bullets.
Neat and tidy.
And then came the dream. The vision was also neat and tidy. Do step one followed by step two. Each foot landing perfectly in front of the other. Eventually, I will follow this perfect little path towards the splendor of a dream fulfilled. Or so I thought.
My whole life, that perfectly wrapped box with the beautiful bow, was not as neat and tidy as I thought. If you opened it up, out would pops Jack-in-the-box.
There’s a mess inside and it’s beautiful.
All the things I have experienced up until this point have hands-down prepared me for this moment right now.
Not growing up in a Christian home.
Finding my faith as a young teen through a friend not my family.
A family on the rocks; on the fringe of despair.
Walking a dual life for years trying to balance them both.
Meeting my unbelieving husband thinking I would be the one to change him.
College taking longer and being much harder (and more expensive) than I thought.
Student loans.
Debt.
Marriage.
Kids. Oh, the kids. (All boys. Who would’ve thought).
Miscarriage.
Moving across the country.
Finding myself.
Anxiety rearing its ugly head.
Losing myself.
Finding myself again.
All of it. All this mess has purpose. The mess is what drives my faith. The mess is what propels me to search for a Savior. The mess is what forces me to lean into Jesus because there is nothing else I can hang on to.
The mess.
It launched a dream.
As I think back on my dream, me standing in the spotlight in all my messy glory, I see you. We are all a little messy, aren’t we? We all get a little lost sometimes. We all search and fret and wonder and doubt. Every single one of us. We all have a similar goal: we all desire to make this mess into something beautiful.
The Messy Mingling? It’s not one girl’s made-up dream. It’s made up of each of our gloriously messy stories. Stories that shout redemption and grace. Stories that usher in victory and healing. Stories that make space for the mess. Because the mess matters.
You are The Messy Mingling.
Love & Blessings,
Meg