Raw.

Real.

Vulnerable.

I use these three words a lot. I like to think that they describe me. I want others to feel like that can be raw, real, and vulnerable without backlash. My desire is for all of us to be real: real with ourselves and real with others.

I was struggling a couple weeks ago. I felt like I was drowning; like no matter what I did, I could not catch up or catch my breath. I text some girlfriends describing my fate hoping for I don’t know what in response. I guess I wanted them to feel sorry for me. I also wanted them to help me and tell me it was going to be okay. They didn’t feel sorry for me, but they did let me know it was all going to be alright. However, in order to get to “alright” I was going to have to make some changes.

I don’t mind constructive criticism. It doesn’t hurt my feelings when you tell me I need to change in some way. I do, however, need time to process what you throw at me. I am human and don’t like to hear that I may have some imperfections. I also know that when the people I love see something in me that isn’t healthy, that is doing me a disservice, I better listen because they are probably right.

I wanted to keep on doing it my way only I wanted to get some relief at the same time. My friends saw that this wasn’t possible and spoke their truths into my life. Blah. I hate when they are right. I fought back a little bit (Okay. Fine. I fought back a lot.). But, I listened. And I processed.

They came over the next day to swim and let the kids play. We chatted some more about my issues and I allowed myself to enjoy the day. After they left, I felt about three million pounds lighter. Something about your friends speaking those truths that relieves so much pressure. The next day, my life went so much smoother. I couldn’t believe it. My day wasn’t perfect. None of our days are. But, I felt less tense and that was a success to me.

What I learned through our conversation was that while there were things I needed to change and they were right about that, there was a piece of me I couldn’t deny. They could tell me all day long to stop doing this or that, but, to a certain extent, that is who I am and who I am created to be.

I needed to hear their truths. I needed to make some changes. I also need to reconcile that there is a piece of me that won’t and shouldn’t change. God instilled that characteristic deep within. It’s something to be celebrated and used in a positive way (& for His glory). It is not something to be ashamed of or to run away from. This piece of me is something to use for the betterment of myself and those around me.

So, while I took into account everything they had to tell me, I also relaxed knowing that I was created this way for a purpose. I was just using it wrong.

Sometimes, when we try to change too much we fail because we were never meant to change that piece of ourselves. We were meant to walk into that characteristic with boldness and use it for His glory.

Always work to better yourself. There is always room for improvement. Your friends are most likely right. But, don’t forget to hold onto that piece of you, that being deep within that you cannot shake. Hold onto that piece of you. He created it within you. It has purpose and meaning; a necessity for your life and the lives of yours around you.

Love & Blessings,

Meg