Ego

I am walking away from something.

Something good.

A place where I am thriving.

I am growing.

Being challenged.

But…

It is time to walk away.

If I could use a crying emoji, I would. I felt a prompting in my spirit about a year ago letting me know that I needed to start preparing myself to walk away. At first, I was good with this request. It felt right; like it was time. As time passed, I started clenching my fists and stomping my feet. I didn’t want to go.

I would have moments of relief knowing I was removing one plate from the air. And then, I would receive a message or note encouraging me in this area and I desperately wanted God to change His mind and let me stay.

Can you relate?

God has you in something good. You absolutely know it is from Him. His hand is all over it and you. You feel fulfilled and your ego is booming in a good way. This good thing has led to other good opportunities. You know it has helped you launch other endeavors. You don’t have anything lined up to take its place. But, you know it is time to go.

Man, that’s hard.

My ego is pulling me to stay. If I am being honest, I like what this good thing gives me. It fills a void in me; a space that needs to be filled deep inside me. The connections I made have propelled me into other great things. Ugh. My ego doesn’t want me to walk away.

This battle between my ego and my soul is something fierce. I never realized how much control my ego had over me. I have a choice to make: succumb to my ego or follow the promptings of the Spirit.

Thankfully, I have the where-with-all and tribe that won’t let me get wrapped up in my (selfish) ego. I know enough about God to know that even if I super-glued my feet in this space, He would remove me anyway. I am leaving a good thing with nothing to take its place. Nothing. That is a scary place to reside. Yet, I am at peace. I know that even if God does not replace my good thing with something better, even with something at all, I did the right thing. I obeyed. And sometimes, most of the time, our BIGGEST blessings come from obedience rather than anything else.

I am taking this step away from something good towards the unknown with confidence. I will not let my ego overcome and overwhelm my obedience to God. I don’t know where I’m going or where I am headed, but I hold to this, “… the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears.” Philippians 1:6.

Love and Blessing,

Meg