Family Series: Complaints
The Family Series:
In light of the holiday season, I thought it would benefit all of us if we went through a little family series. We all find ourselves spending a little more time with family members we may avoid throughout the year. What better way to start this season off right, then to talk about the GOOD, the BAD, and the MESSY of family.
Drop a comment about your favorite or funny holiday memory or tradition for you and your family.
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One of the first things you see when you walk into a nail salon is their licenses and the sign that tells you where you file a complaint. I don’t know why I always notice the complaint sign, but I do. Sometimes (if I am being honest), complaining comes much easier to me than giving compliments.
I had a day last week. I spent a good chunk of it complaining about a situation with some people. I woke up that night from a deep sleep and the first thing that came to mind was my complaints from earlier in the day. I had one of those middle-of-the-night-light bulb-moments. I realized that my complaints were fueled by my desire for these people to act, behave, and live like me.
Say what?!?!
I realized my complaints were fueled by my desire for people to act, behave, and live like me.
I don’t have to like the way people do things. I don’t have to agree with the way people behave and live their lives. They, on the other hand, are free of my opinions; completely void of any of my complaints or opinions. When we spend time with people, like our families in this season, we are going to find ourselves annoyed or shaking our heads. It’s the nature of things. People can bug us. Their actions, their opinions, the way they set the table or cook the turkey may not look and feel right to us. That’s okay. It doesn’t have to.
We get so riled up when people behave, well, like people. We are up-in-arms when our family goes rogue and doesn’t look, act, or behave like us. Guess what? They were never meant to. God made us uniquely. What bothers you may bring peace to her. What irritates you may be his comfort and norm. That’s the beauty of our life. The mess comes together to create the masterpiece.
All of us have stepped into the season of family: a season of time together with people we don’t spend time with day-to-day. It is inevitable that someone does something that makes those eyes on our faces roll. When the feeling of irritation starts to well up inside, ask yourself, “Am I about to complain because they don’t live like me? They don’t fit into my mold of life and so that very thing is so so annoying.”
Our family togetherness this season does not have to be irritating. Spending time with those people doesn’t have to be something you dread. We can free everyone by letting go of our complaints. Because, at the end of the day, our complaints are really a desire for others to live like us and that’s not fair. Free yourself from the stress and irritation. Free your family from your standards and expectations for living. Let go of the complaints. Embrace the mess. Because real beauty lies in the mess that becomes the masterpiece.
“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Ephesians 4:29
Let your words be filled with love not irritations. Free your mind and your soul from the trappings of complaining and fill it with the beauty of the mess of family uniting around the table. Enjoy your kooky aunt and over-opinionated uncle. There is room at the table for them. Love your mom and the way she strategically sets each place setting forcing you to sit next to that cousin. When we let go of forcing others to live within our borders for life, we free everyone. May the words of your mouth radiate grace not complaints.
Love & Blessings,
Meg