FAMILY SERIES: The Family You Choose
The Family Series:
In light of the holiday season, I thought it would benefit all of us if we went through a little family series. We all find ourselves spending a little more time with family members we may avoid throughout the year. What better way to start this season off right, then to talk about the GOOD, the BAD, and the MESSY of family.
Drop a comment and tell us about your favorite “chosen” family member. Share this post and tag them in it.
I remember when we first moved to Texas we didn’t know a soul. The hardest part about leaving California almost twelve years ago was leaving my family. As we settled in, I found my friends; my tribe. I listened to the advice of my sister and joined a MOPS group. I found any and all mommy and me groups I could find because I needed to find my people. It was amazing how quickly these people became our second family out here in those early years. They were there for births, losses, good times, and trials. They saw us through the transition of moving and settling in. They helped us celebrate holidays and birthdays. They were our chosen family.
When my sister decided to move to Texas, we had been here about five years. My dad followed two years behind and let me tell you, it was an adjustment. I absolutely LOVED having my family here. Never in a million years did I think my family would move to the Lonestar state. That first year was incredible but, I had to learn to reincorporate my family back into my life. I had accepted that my friends were my “family” close by. It took my awhile to relearn what it meant to have my real flesh-and-blood down the street.
As the boys got older, my friends changed. My needs shifted and so did the needs of my friends. Our kids grew taking our lives in different directions. Soon after, I met a new group of friends, a life group per-say, and they became ouir people. This time, however, was different.
I learned that my friends cannot take the place of my family. They are an extension; an incredible blessing. But, they will never be my flesh-and-blood. This perspective shift changes how you view and treat your friendships. When you don’t hold them to the high standard of being your family, you lower your expectations of them. When you lower your expectations, you lower your disappointment. You are able to enjoy your friendships on a whole new level.
Your friends are just that: friends. They may feel like family. They may know things about you that your family doesn’t know. They may be there in a way that your family never has been or ever will be. But, they aren’t your family. They are your bonus. Your icing-on the cake. Your gift.
See your family you choose, your friends, for what they are. They are an absolute gift that goes above and beyond the blessings of family. They are meant to enhance your life not fulfill it. They are not Jerry McGuire. They cannot complete you. Only God can do that. Love the heck out of your friends family. Enjoy every second you have with them. Because not everyone gets to choose their family.
Love & Blessings,
Meg