F.E.A.R.
365. 365 days. 365 words. How do I know God is real? Because He knew I’d fear so He provided. He provided 365 verses about fear. 365 opportunities to hope. 365 reminders that my life is not lost. I’ve noticed a pattern since 2020 started. …
Month: June 2020
Privilege & Lives
Why Christians shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss white privilege and black lives matter.
He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God? Micah 6:8
Oh, good. You’re still here. Today’s post is a doozy. Am I right? I’ll try my best to work through this mess respectfully and with an overabundance of grace. So, here goes nothing.
I love Micah 6:8. I love it so much, I painted it on a board and it is hanging above our couch in our living room. It’s a good one to quote. Who doesn’t want to do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly? We all like to preach this. But, do we actually live it? Living out justice, kindness, and humility is easier said than done. Let’s figure out how we can do this when it comes to privilege and lives, shall we?
Grady, Wyatt, and I are currently reading through the chapter book, The Stars Beneath Our Feet. The book opens with a 13 year old boy walking home. He has one some coveted sneakers and is being followed. He is black and lives in the projects. As the story progressed, I stopped and asked the boys (10yrs & 11Yrs) if they knew what the projects were. They did not. I was shocked. I thought since we talk about pretty much everything, they would be aware of this boy’s lifestyle. They did not. Grady thought this didn’t happen anymore; that most people lived feeling safe and well cared for. He was sad and disappointed to learn that kids his age struggled and lived in fear.
Privilege.
My kids have it.
I have it.
And it’s okay.
We have a lot of feelings when we hear the term, “white privilege.” Most notably, we get defensive. But, God’s Word says to, “walk humbly.” What does privilege and walking humbly have to do with one another? When I acknowledge that I have privilege, I am humbling myself to realizing that I have something someone else does not. I have a choice to make in this realization: stay stuck in my pride or using my privilege to help someone else.
Acknowledging privilege does not mean I live in shame or guilt. God is not about shame or guilt. What that acknowledgment does, is awaken me to others. My lens is expanded and I finally see others. In this, I can live out Micah 6:8 even further: do justice and love kindness.
There are things I do not have to tell my boys when they leave the house. I do not have to worry about how they are dressed or how they will be received by the neighborhood when they are out riding their bikes or having a Nerf war. That, my friends, is a privilege. Realizing this leads me to become a better Christian, and, a better human. I can now fight for justice for my friends who do not have this privilege. I can be kinder, more gracious, and empathetic. I can walk in humility using my privilege to help others instead of hold it over them in pride.
These conversations about privilege are messy and hard. They don’t make us feel good. All of our hearts are exposed and we don’t like it. But, what I am finding, is that when you sift out the guilt and shame and move towards conviction and change, true healing beings. This is where we unify and heal. This is where justice, kindness, and humility are found.
When you sift through the guilt and shame and move towards conviction and change, true healing begins. This is where we unify and heal. This is where justice, kindness, and humility are found.
themessymingling.com
So, what about Black Lives Matter? What do we do with that?
The enemy would love to keep us divided on this. I bet if you polled the Christian church on this phrase you’d see a split between who supports this phrase and who doesn’t.
Here’s what I know: black lives matter. Period. We have got to stop living through hashtags and political movements. They don’t own us. They don’t own the words we use. Who cares if there is an agenda. You, dear Christian, live by Christ, not the world.
My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified. John 17:15-19
Whether we like it or not, Jesus asked the Father to keep is in this world. It’s what we do with it that matters. Throughout the New Testament, you find apostles preaching the message of a unified church. In order to be unified, we must be able to weep, mourn, and rejoice with our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. Right now, some of our siblings are crying out. It is time for us to lament with them.
Black lives matter. It is not a hashtag. It is not a movement to scream about in this moment and then move on. This is an opportunity: an opportunity to be the Church representing Jesus as we stand with our black brothers and sisters moving towards justice, kindness, and humility. And, we find ourselves back at Micah 6:8.
Black lives matter. It is not a hashtag. It is not a movement to scream about in this moment and then move on. This is an opportunity.
themessymingling.com
But, what about all lives? Don’t all lives matter. Look, I used to fall into this category when the hashtag first got popular. If I’m being honest and really showing you my mess, it made me mad. It made me feel like we were singling one people group out amplifying the problem. And then, Jesus. He sure likes to turn the tables (literally and figuratively). There were many times when Jesus singled out a people group in the New Testament. He needed that person to matter in that moment to make a statement; to teach us something and expand our view. Here are a few examples:
Having dinner at Zacchaeus, the tax collectors, house (Luke 19:1-10)
The Samaritan Woman at the well (John 4)
The Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37)
The Children (Matthew 19:12-14)
I will leave you with this…
Then Jesus told them this parable: “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent. Luke 15:1-7
It’s time we allow space for the one to be heard. This is an opportunity for the Church to shine: for us to unify and walk together for justice, kindness, and in humility.
All The Feels
How to respond when other people’s feelings are difficult to process. I am a Dateline junkie. It actually doesn’t have to be Dateline. Give me any crime story and I am mesmerized. One thing I notice a lot is when the detectives talk about suspects. …
Heard: Listening to Validate Not Agree
Scott and I got into an argument the other day. Well, it wasn’t really an argument. I was irritated with him and he was pushing my buttons. This story goes like this… I was telling him some widely reported facts (Yes, the emphasis is need. …
Are You Listening?
In times like these, we must learn to listen and listen well. Less talking. More listening. Use our two ears and close our one mouth. I don’t know about you, but this is tough for a talker like me. I like words. I also like to say all the words. What I am finding, however, is that right now it’s not my turn on the mic. Through this mess and the state of our world, I’ve identified three areas where I need to grow as a listener. (Btw, I know there are MANY more than 3 ways)
Right now, it is not my turn on the mic.
themessymingling.com
The first is that I tense up. Think, plugging my ears singing, “lalalalalala” like a child. I don’t want to hear what they are telling me. I can’t believe it. I can’t wrap my head around what they are telling me, so I stuff it down and pretend I didn’t hear it.
The second is what I refer to as, “eye roll listening.” I just want whatever they are saying to be over with. I have heard it loud and clear, over and over. Can we just be done and move on please? I don’t want to sit in this discomfort anymore.
The third way I shut down when listening to someone else is when they challenge me. I know what they are saying holds at least a little bit of truth, but it goes against my own narrative and that makes me uncomfortable. So, instead of listening further, I shut down because they are obviously wrong. They are wrong because everything I’ve ever known tells me they are wrong. Instead of learning and growing, I stay stagnant in my stubbornness.
The thing is, we all have some sort of rhythm we live by when we listen to people talk. We have agendas and histories and cultures that define how we respond to what people say. We don’t realize that we are influenced by outside perspectives, traditions, and narratives that taint the words coming from someone else’s mouth. Because of this, we need to be mindful in how we listen.
Sometimes, what someone is saying doesn’t always merit a response. We need to ask ourselves, “Am I listening to respond or am I listening to listen?” I find myself in two categories when I am listening to someone speak.Right now, people want to be heard and validated (even if/when you don’t agree). Jesus was really good at this. Let me share a story with you from Luke 10:38-42
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
Bible scholars like to teach about how Mary got it right. She knew how to worship Jesus. And Martha, well Martha was a busy body. Let’s look at this verse a different we, shall we?
Mary listened to Jesus. Her response isn’t recorded. It’s not needed because she listened without an agenda.She didn’t need to respond. She didn’t need to tell him her thoughts, opinions, or ways. Her purpose in this moment was to just listen. And Jesus noticed. Now, Jesus noticing Mary’s good listening skills did not disqualify Martha’s hard work. Martha’s hard work did not eliminate her from her importance to Jesus. Jesus just recognized that in that moment, listening is what mattered.
Listening to someone else and validating how they are feeling does not disqualify your thoughts or feelings. Instead, it shows you care. And I know you care about other humans. Listening to someone, truly hearing what they are saying, tells that person that they matter; they have value. I believe this is what Jesus did in every encounter He had with people. He listened in a way that told them they mattered. He did it in such a way that their lives were eternally changed.
Let others feel, think, and process things their own way and in their own time. Their journey is not your own. Our mission is not to change others. Instead, we are called to walk alongside them on their journey while each of you is moving towards love, grace, and redemption. That’s Jesus.
themessymingling.com
Get out there. Listen. Sit with that person and hear them. Don’t plan your response. Just be. Inhale. Exhale. Listen. Repeat.
