Re-Invent Yourself

For the past ten years, I have tried to fit my square peg into a round hole. I was a teacher before I chose to stay home almost 15 years ago. I became a teacher because I liked kids and knew it was something I could do; something that could pay the bills. Teaching was never a dream or something I remember doing or wanting to do when I was a kid. What I do remember is being outside all the time. I remember playing and using my imagination. I remember writing and rearranging my room. I remember wanting to be around people and friends more than I wanted to be alone.

So, why do I question myself when the things I want for my life now looks like what I loved back then? Why do I try to be something different than what I always have been? I think I have spent a good part of my life trying to fit into the molds and systems created for me instead of creating space where I actually fit.

I spoke an idea, a dream, out loud to my husband. I realized there are three things that bring me life (besides my husband and boys). I want to do those three things to the fullest (well, to the fullest of what I can do in this season) because they awaken me from the inside out. These three things energize me. They make me feel whole. I finally allowed myself to not only say, but believe, that I am meant to do these three things. I add value to this world when I do. My life has meaning and these three are a huge part of that.

I finally allowed myself not only to say, but believe that I am meant to do these three things.

I am a different person when I give myself time to write. I feel full and most at ease communicating via words on a page. There’s something about the thoughts turning into comprehendible words on a page. It’s like a waltz getting them from my head to the paper. I come alive when I am designing. Renovation and construction Meg isn’t always pretty, but I am energized by the design process. I struggle walking into a space and not see the design brilliance or start designing the room I’m standing in. I feel most at home when I am outside with my hands in the dirt working in my garden with my chickens next to me.

And then it all made sense.

Realizing and accepting that these three things make me who I am took awhile to accept. I tried to be and do things the way the system told me to instead walking in the organic nature of who I am and what I was created for.

I am a writer.

I am an designer.

I am an accidental suburban farmer.

I am worthy.

I do add value.

You add value. You are worthy. You were made to live in the places and spaces before you fully in this season. You are allowed to change your mind and change your path. You are allowed to grow and flourish, try and fail. You were made for this.

Love you.

Mean it.

Meg