Finding Faith in the Mess
“Darkness does not drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate. Only love can do that.” Martin Luther King Jr. I love you. Some of us say this statement flippantly. Some don’t say it at all. This sentiment can bring …
If you’ve known me or hung around The Messy Mingling long enough, you know that I like order. I like my house clean, pillows coiffed, and fingerprints cleaned from the fridge doors. You’ve made my day if there are vacuum lines in the carpet upstairs. …
My childhood summers were spent in Southern California. We spent our days barefoot and outside. We didn’t come inside until we heard our moms yelling our names or the street lights came on. We explored, ran around in the street of our cul-de-sac, and road our bikes to Thrifties to get 10 cent ice cream cones and candy cigarettes (Don’t freak out. It was a thing back then. I can’t explain it.) I was always dirty in the best way and exhausted. It was amazing.
My kids’ summers don’t look like mine. They aren’t supposed to. But, that doesn’t stop me from wanting their summers to be a reflection of mine. My boys’ summers aren’t my summers. They are theirs. I need to stop parenting my kids from my childhood and start parenting them from theirs.
Christine Caine said in a podcast once that she can’t parent her daughter (when it comes to technology) from her upbringing when she had none. That’s not her daughter’s reality. It was time to stop telling her how it used to be and start parenting her as it is. What truth!
We need to stop trying to parent our kids according to how it used to be and start parenting them how it is.
It is time I stop telling my boys that my childhood summers are the best way to live and start letting them create their own summertime memories. Memories of getting to talk to and play with their friends on Fortnite (reminds me of party line for their generation). I need to give them space to create their own summer adventures instead of forcing them to live mine. It’s time I stop expecting them to live my past life (I mean, they are seriously missing out on drinking from the hose) and start letting them live their own. Most of the time, I end up frustrating myself because I am trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. It just doesn’t fit.
Their summer is THEIRS. It is time to drop the stipulations and expectations for an 80s summer and let them live theirs. I cannot wait to hear them recall their childhood summers when they get older. I bet you I will be surprised to hear their descriptions. I can almost guarantee I will see their faces light up when they remember the summers past. And I can also bet they will have the same struggles as you and I when it comes to parenting their own kiddos in the summertime.
This is their time. These are their memories. It is time I sit on the sidelines a bit more and allow my boys space to create their own summertime memories. Because honestly, there is nothing better then remembering the summers of your childhood.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
FLASHBACK FRIDAY: A year ago this August, I came to terms with my fears and jumped. I decided to chase a dream instead of pursuing what felt safe. Was I scared? Absolutely! Did I want to run in the opposite direction? Yep. Sure did. I …
I didn’t become myself until I tried to be her.
I love Ree Drummond and Joanna Gaines. I mean, who doesn’t? What a dream to create beautiful meals in the middle of nowhere and design gorgeous spaces! I spent years trying to be someone else. When I was younger, I tried to be the girl that filled the pages of magazines. As I got older and became a wife, I tried to be the woman who was married a little longer than I who could cook a good meal and whose house looked like it could be featured on HGTV. When I became a mom, I strived to be the girl who seemed to have it all together because I absolutely did not. Rarely did I try to be myself. I was always chasing someone else’s dream.
Yet you, LORD, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand. Isaiah 64:8
It wasn’t until I tried to be her that I finally became myself. I had to chase her dreams and her life before I realized I liked my own. I needed to try and fail and being her in order to know that being me is the best I can be. Chasing her life opened my eyes to my weaknesses. It awakened me to all my inadequacies. It also enabled me to find my strengths. You see, I finding my weaknesses in trying to be her allowed me to find my confidence. I realized that I am weak in those areas because I was never meant to be those things. I wasn’t designed that way so I needed to stop chasing someone else’s life.
I wasn’t designed to be her. I was created to be me; to have my voice, my style, my idiosyncrasies at exactly this time. You are, too. What power in that statement! We aren’t created to be someone else. We are created to be exactly who we are.
In general, us women spend our entire lives chasing confidence. We look to our left and to our right desperately trying to be her never realizing that being me is the best of all. Chasing her life puts us in bondage. Trying to be what our culture tells us we should be limits our ability to be all that we were created for. Freedom is found when we break free from the chase of others’ lives and start chasing our own.
You were never meant to be her. Neither was I. We were never meant to live up to the standards of society only to the standards of a Savior. The standards of Jesus don’t come with a checklist. There is nothing we can do to earn His love or acceptance. We are loved because we are His and that’s what makes us beautiful.
Start chasing you, beautiful sister. You are exquisite just because you are you.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14
Love & Blessings,
Meg
You are worthy. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are destined for greatness. You were made with a purpose and for a plan. You are beautiful. You are highly favored. You. You. You. We like compliments. We enjoy when people tell us how great …
If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith …
Have you ever gone down the Instagram rabbit hole? You think of someone or you go to search for someone and click on a different picture that leads to endless scrolling. You only realize what you’re doing when you have to wipe the drool from your mouth.
I was blow drying my hair and a reality star popped into my head. I thought about searching her on Insta, but decided against it. I knew I would be sucked into the vortex.
Do you get so engrossed in someone else’s life that you stop living your own? I do, sometimes. I follow and watch how others live, decorate their homes, style themselves, cook, and live out their faith. Sometimes, I get lost in their feeds and am blinded from seeing the life right in front of me.
I love a good scroll. It feels good to zone out. What doesn’t feel good is when I lose sight of what’s right in front of me. I have three amazing kids. My husband is my best friend and I truly enjoy time with him. I love the community that has come around The Messy Mingling. It brings me life. Instagram is pretty and useful for a good scroll, but it doesn’t replace my life.
I enjoy looking at the pretty pictures and being inspired by Scripture and positive quotes. I also love my life and want to live in the present moment aware of the people right in front of me. I want to live MY best life not someone else’s. I hope this inspires you (and me) to scroll on and enjoy what is right in front of you.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
<FLASHBACK FRIDAY> I am a recovering perfectionist. Weeellll, I can’t honestly say I’m recovered, but I am working on getting there. I did have to do about a bazillion things and get them all perfectly in order before I could sit down and write today. …
