Raising Puppies is Like Raising Kids Which is Like Finding Grace
Grace is not a chase. Grace is a journey of discovery. A discovery of how much you are loved.
Tag: children
Momo No Mo: YouTube and the Rise of Parenting Scared
If I open my feed and see Momo one more time, I may take a hammer to my device. If you haven’t seen this terrifying puppet thing with a creepy and distorted Snap Chat filter, consider yourself lucky. It’s like a character straight out of …
I have something to say
I sat in my car and had a good cry. Sometimes a mama needs a good cry in her car. I hurt. I hurt for my kiddos and this world. I hurt for my boys’ friends and their mamas who I know have a good cry every now and again. Parenting is a charge I am privileged to walk out. This charge, however, can sometimes be completely overwhelming.
Reckless Love
Before I spoke a word, You were singing over me
You have been so, so good to me
Before I took a breath, You breathed Your life in me
You have been so, so kind to me
Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God
Oh, it chases me down, fights ’til I’m found, leaves the ninety-nine
I couldn’t earn it, and I don’t deserve it, still, You give Yourself away
Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God, yeah
When I was Your foe, still Your love fought for me
You have been so, so good to me
When I felt no worth, You paid it all for me
You have been so, so kind to me
Reckless love. Our kids need it. Us, parents, need it, too. Yet, we don’t always give it. Something in us evokes disdain before a reckless love. I want to change the narrative. I want to be part of a movement where instead of talking about how bad our kids are, we band together and be the village they need to become better adults then we ever were. I want to love my fellow parents (who are also trudging through the trenches) recklessly. Don’t you?
The other day I received a lengthy text. I had to reread it a few times so my brain could catch up with what my eyes were reading. It took my breath away. While I know my children aren’t perfect, I couldn’t believe what I read. It was like I knew my kid and I didn’t know this person I was reading about even though they were one-in-the-same. I was, and still am, so very grateful for that text. I was naive and needed to be made aware. My son also needed his parents to know the truth about him so we could be better parents.
Our kids, they are hurting. They are trying so very hard to fit in; to be loved. No matter how good your child is, no matter how upstanding or respectful, they have a yearning to be loved and will do extraordinary things to attain that love. Even if they are believers, they don’t have the full capacity to understand their value lies in God not others. Most are willing to sacrifice their character in order to just fit in.
Here’s what I know: our kids need our reckless love; especially when they mess up. They need to know they are loved, period. They need to be reminded (continuously) that we are proud of them just because they are our kid. They also need to know that you will fight for them: that you will battle the darkness that is this world on their behalf showing them that there is a better way.
Reckless love. They yearn for it. Be the one who gives it to them. Because if you don’t, someone or something else will.
Don’t be so quick to dismiss. Don’t be so quick to judge. Don’t be so quick to think, not my kid. I see it all over social media. I hear it when I go to coffee and overhear other moms chatting. I hear it in the stands at our kids’ games. I hear it at Target. And so do our kids. We are so quick, too quick, to talk poorly of the parents and, sadly, of the kids. Look, our kids are just that: kids. It is up to us to be the guiding force and guiding light in their lives. We lose our authority in their lives when we belittle their friends and the parents of their friends. We are no longer a safe place and quickly become just like the rest of the crowd.
It is up to us to be the guiding force and guiding light in their lives
Be the village. Be the mom who calls the other mom out of concern and love not out of judgment and fear. Be the mom who understands that even though you may not hear or see that behavior, it is occurring and your kid needs your love and guidance.
Reckless love. It is a necessity. Our kids are longing for it. And so is the parent sitting next to you. None of us deserve a reckless love. No one can earn a reckless love. Yet, when we were a foe, He still loved us. If we are privy to such a love, we must be that much more willing to give it all away.
Reckless love. They yearn for it. Be the one who gives it to them. Because if you don’t, someone or something else will.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
#sparkjoy
Too many of us are living distracted or too busy searching for happiness that we are missing the opportunity to enjoy the life right in front of us.
Top 10 for Mama’s
Being a mom is the greatest gift. It can also be the most difficult task you’ve ever faced. From joy to frustration, excitement to panic, pride to worry, motherhood brings so many emotions. I watched some mama’s send their kids off to a weekend away. …
The Preteen Years
FLASHBACK FRIDAY…
Since we talked about faith and kids on Facebook this week, (watch here https://www.facebook.com/themessymingling/ ) I thought it would be fun to do a flashback post when I wrote about my feelings on our oldest entering middle school. My hope is that this post help you exhale and truly enjoy this special season with your kid.
Happy parenting!
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He was sitting at the counter, his dad beside him. It was early; before 7am. They were working through some last minute math homework. Never-mind the fact that he had ALL weekend to complete his assignment. Who am I kidding? I would have put off my homework over the weekend, too.
There is a lot of chatter out there. Chatter about how the middle schools years are scary and really really awful. Chatter about how this world will devour your child once he leaves the safety-net of elementary school. Chatter about technology and how it will kidnap your child’s mind and lead them to the registered sex offenders list for life. Chatter. Lots and lots of chatter.
Can we squash that chatter? I think so. I am here to tell you the preteen years are not to be feared. They are to be relished.
I heard it all when my oldest was in fifth grade. We mamas all started thinking about what we should expect the next year. Just like when your preschooler moves on to kindergarten, the elementary to middle school jump makes your kid seem so old; so alien. We try to determine what this uncharted territory would hold. Since we had no experience with middle school, all we had to hold onto were stories of parents who had gone before. Eek. I didn’t particularly like what they had to say.
When I sat back on my own and thought about the season we were about to enter, I was smacked in the face with one thing: the moment my son steps foot on that middle school campus, the countdown begins.
With each passing, season, time seems to speed up. The moment he begins middle school is the moment the next seven years will ignite and zoom by at warp speed. I have one chance, one opportunity, to make these years count and I was determined in that moment to do just that.
I want to enjoy my kids. Let’s face it…life with kids is extraordinary and challenging. Parenting is no joke. You need the physical stamina of a boxer and the emotional stamina of a first responder. What I have learned in my twelve years as a parent, however, is that parenting has everything to do with perspective.
If I enter these middle school years believing the chatter that they are the most awful years on God’s green earth, than that is exactly what they will be. Rather, if I pierce this road with the perspective of opportunity, an opportunity to love, learn, and watch my son grow from a boy to a man, than the whole season shifts.
It is time we shift the chatter. Middle school years (and high school, for that matter) is not a season to be feared. Instead, it is an opportunity to witness your child finding themselves. You get to see them become the adult you always dreamed and hoped they would become. What an awesome privilege. The moment you step foot into this uncharted territory, you get to watch them use those wings you have been helping them grow all these years. They will take a dive and fall to the ground a few times as they try and spread those wings. But, eventually, they will soar like you could never have imagined and it will be the most beautiful sight.
Do not fear the middle school years. They are precious. It is holy ground. You shift from teaching and training to guiding and walking alongside. You witness them make some pretty awesome choices all on their own without you. This is so very bittersweet knowing you are having to slowly let go a little more each day but reveling in the glory that is who your child is becoming. What an awesome privilege.
Middle schoolers are so weird and funny and goofy. You can tease them and mess with them in the very best ways. They do things that make you shake your head and make your chin fall to the floor (in a good way) all at the same time. Preteens are incredible beings full of a mess of hormones and growing and awkwardness. It is greatness!
I think you will be surprised when you enter those dreaded middle school years. You will be astounded to discover how much you love this time with your preteen holding so tightly to the precious years you have left with them. You will truly enjoy the shifting of your relationship from mommy to mom to confident and adviser.
The preteen years were never meant to be fretted or feared. They were meant to stretch you and grow you as a parent as you are learning and sifting just as much as they are. It is an opportunity to build relationship that will last and only be enhanced through their adult life. The preteen years are an opportunity to step back and enable your child to fall so that they may discover themselves, their faith, and who they want to be.
I didn’t think I would like the preteen years so much. I always thought of myself as a baby/toddler loving mom. But man, this whole getting to watch your kids grow up thing is nothing shy of magnificent. What an awesome privilege it is to witness these kids become who God designed them to be all along.
Stop the negative chatter. Don’t be afraid of the middle school years. This is sacred space.
There’s an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth:
“A right time for birth and another for death,
A right time to plant and another to reap,
A right time to kill and another to heal,
A right time to destroy and another to construct,
A right time to cry and another to laugh,
A right time to lament and another to cheer,
A right time to make love and another to abstain,
A right time to embrace and another to part,
A right time to search and another to count your losses,
A right time to hold on and another to let go,
A right time to rip out and another to mend,
A right time to shut up and another to speak up,
A right time to love and another to hate,
A right time to wage war and another to make peace.
But in the end, does it really make a difference what anyone does? I’ve had a good look at what God has given us to do—busywork, mostly. True, God made everything beautiful in itself and in its time—but he’s left us in the dark, so we can never know what God is up to, whether he’s coming or going. I’ve decided that there’s nothing better to do than go ahead and have a good time and get the most we can out of life. That’s it—eat, drink, and make the most of your job. It’s God’s gift.”
Ecclesiastes 3:1-13
The preteen years: they are a precious gift from God .
Love & Blessings,
Meg
Let Them GO
I bawled my eyes out pulling away after dropping my babies off at sleep-away camp. I couldn’t wait to get to FaceTime my oldest while he was on his missions trip. The fish died and I couldn’t resurrect him. On the first day of school. …
Summer Dreams
My childhood summers were spent in Southern California. We spent our days barefoot and outside. We didn’t come inside until we heard our moms yelling our names or the street lights came on. We explored, ran around in the street of our cul-de-sac, and road our bikes to Thrifties to get 10 cent ice cream cones and candy cigarettes (Don’t freak out. It was a thing back then. I can’t explain it.) I was always dirty in the best way and exhausted. It was amazing.
My kids’ summers don’t look like mine. They aren’t supposed to. But, that doesn’t stop me from wanting their summers to be a reflection of mine. My boys’ summers aren’t my summers. They are theirs. I need to stop parenting my kids from my childhood and start parenting them from theirs.
Christine Caine said in a podcast once that she can’t parent her daughter (when it comes to technology) from her upbringing when she had none. That’s not her daughter’s reality. It was time to stop telling her how it used to be and start parenting her as it is. What truth!
We need to stop trying to parent our kids according to how it used to be and start parenting them how it is.
It is time I stop telling my boys that my childhood summers are the best way to live and start letting them create their own summertime memories. Memories of getting to talk to and play with their friends on Fortnite (reminds me of party line for their generation). I need to give them space to create their own summer adventures instead of forcing them to live mine. It’s time I stop expecting them to live my past life (I mean, they are seriously missing out on drinking from the hose) and start letting them live their own. Most of the time, I end up frustrating myself because I am trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. It just doesn’t fit.
Their summer is THEIRS. It is time to drop the stipulations and expectations for an 80s summer and let them live theirs. I cannot wait to hear them recall their childhood summers when they get older. I bet you I will be surprised to hear their descriptions. I can almost guarantee I will see their faces light up when they remember the summers past. And I can also bet they will have the same struggles as you and I when it comes to parenting their own kiddos in the summertime.
This is their time. These are their memories. It is time I sit on the sidelines a bit more and allow my boys space to create their own summertime memories. Because honestly, there is nothing better then remembering the summers of your childhood.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
Recovering Perfectionist
<FLASHBACK FRIDAY> I am a recovering perfectionist. Weeellll, I can’t honestly say I’m recovered, but I am working on getting there. I did have to do about a bazillion things and get them all perfectly in order before I could sit down and write today. …