When God says, “Lay it Down”
We all have a word. Maybe you don’t have a word. Instead, you have a thought, a goal, or a dream. You might not be a New Year’s resolution type, but we all want more for our lives. My word for 2018 is expectant. I …
Tag: dreams
Show Up To Your Life
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:10 It’s time. It is time you show up to your life. Too many of us are sitting on the sidelines …
Don’t Lose You
When Jackson was a baby, I would hop into my car on my lunch break and rush to his day care to see him. I had thirty minutes with my baby and I needed every last second. I was a mess of a new mom and had a really hard time leaving him everyday. I was caught in the conundrum of loving teaching with all that I was and loving being a mom desperately wanting to stay home.
I established a neat relationship with Jack’s care-takers. They were a little older than me and much wiser. They will never fully know how appreciative I am for their advice and comfort during those beginning moments as a mama. When I decided to leave my teaching career and move halfway across the country to do so, they gave me a piece of advice that I didn’t take seriously initially, but now hold dear. They told me I had to find something for me. They watched me finish my master’s that year and knew I was a doer. They recognized that I was about to enter a season where I had to hold onto myself or I would get lost. I told you they were wise.
It took me awhile to find myself when we got to Texas. I got myself involved in a lot of mommy and me activities, but didn’t necessarily do much just for me. I loved my time with my mom friends and I did do StrollerFit (you workout with your baby in the mall) which met a need for me while still giving my undivided attention to my little bundle in the stroller. I was preoccupied with momming and having babies and did get lost for a moment. It wasn’t until I jumped on my blog to write about miscarriage did I really find myself like those wise women suggested I do from the start.
I started my blog when MySpace was popular. I just aged myself, I know. Do y’all remember MySpace. Ha. I laugh just thinking about it. I wonder if we are ever going to laugh about Facebook or Instagram the way we do about MySpace. Anyway, I digress. I would post on my blog about milestones and memories we were making as we were adjusting to our new life in Texas. When we decided to try for kid number two, we faced some complications. Once we had our second miscarriage, I fell and I fell hard. It was tough. There were times I didn’t want to do anything. I was just so sad. I will never forget the day I decided to get out of bed and write.
It was cool out; one of those days where winter was changing to spring. The mornings felt like winter but the afternoons ushered in a refreshing taste of warmth. I walked into Scott’s office, opened the computer, and began to type. I had to get the feelings out. I needed release. And so, I told my story. I was honest, vulnerable, real, and raw. It was terrifying and freeing all in the same moment. I bawled as I typed.
That was the moment I finally listened to those wise women and found myself. I did something for me. I found my identity outside of wife and stay-at-home-mom. It was liberating and empowering and I will never forget it.
I write this to encourage you; yes, YOU. There is something inside you begging to get out. Something in the depths of your soul that we all need. You have an identity outside of wife, mom, career woman, student, sister, daughter, and friend. Something is calling you but something is holding you back. Don’t let it. Find you. You are equipped to do this. All you need to do is start. It may not be writing. It could be painting, selling something, cooking, anything. What is calling you? You look at the caller ID and push decline too afraid to answer. Answer the call.
Find yourself. Your heart and soul need it. So do the people around you. I am a better person because I took the risk and pushed past my fears to follow my calling. You will be, too. It just takes one step. Don’t worry about the next step. It will come.
Find you.
Let her out.
Come alive.
Who knows what’s out there.
Your adventure awaits.
“Today is the day. Your mountain is waiting so be on your way.”
Love & Blessings,
Meg
Declare It
Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; fret not …
FLASHBACK FRIDAY: JUMP
FLASHBACK FRIDAY: A year ago this August, I came to terms with my fears and jumped. I decided to chase a dream instead of pursuing what felt safe. Was I scared? Absolutely! Did I want to run in the opposite direction? Yep. Sure did. I …
Lightning, Thunderstorms, oh…Revelation???
FLASHBACK POST: …a continuation of my series on miscarriage.
This entry is vulnerable, real, and raw. The dead of night is always the hardest when you are going through something tough. It is when you are completely alone in your feelings. I remember this night like it was yesterday. While it was difficult, it was also so very sweet. The time I had with the Lord during this trial is something I envy now. I wanted you, dear reader, to know that in the dead of night when it hurts so deep you don’t think you will pull out of it, you are not alone.
————————————————————–
I went to bed last night defeated. I wept myself to sleep praying to God. I am overwhelmed. I don’t know what to say or pray. I begin asking God the “why’s.” Why am I still going through the physical aspects of a miscarriage? It’s been almost a month. Why was my uncle taken so quickly from my aunt and his children? They were supposed to grow old traveling together and enjoying one another. Why are my best friends being put through the trial of their life with no answers? Why does their sweet baby boy who is a perfect angel have to endure this? Why are our friends in California enduring a trial that has lasted more than two years? Why God? Why? To top it all off, I was exhausted and Jackson would not go down. Scott and I tried for over two hours to get the little guy down but he would cry so hard he made himself sick. So, he ended up in our bed. Although this usually is a blessing, I know I am not going to get the much needed rest I longed for because I would have toddler toes stuck in my ribs all night. I did, however, finally fall asleep around midnight.
Two hours later I was awakened by one of our loudest thunderstorms yet. With lightning flashing all around illuminating our room and thunder booming viciously, I begin to sense God’s power. I have always had a fear of thunderstorms from the time I can remember. I don’t know why. My heart was racing at first, and then I was calmed. I realized that God is all powerful. He is in control. He showed me His power last night as the hail came plummeting down and the rain poured out of the clouds so fast that I thought the water was going to break through our roof. However, I was not afraid. I basked in God’s power.
I thought about all the trials that are in and around me. They reminded me of this storm; a violent turn in all our lives that we don’t understand. As the storm kept on ferociously I began to think about our trials and how excruciatingly painful they are; how bad they hurt. Like the storm, they twist and turn in us and seem like they are never going to end. Then, there is silence. The storm just stops. The house is quiet; still. “Be still and know that I am God.”(Psalm 46:10) He will quiet the storm. He always does even when it seems like it will never end. The clouds will roll back and the sun will shine. Our trials, too, will fade. And we will see His glory and sense that refreshing clean smell that comes after a good hard rain.
So, what did I learn. I learned that the storm is hard right now. But, even in the midst of the chaos of lightning flashes and thunder rolling, He is still near. He is powerful and shall overcome the burden(s) that are so deep. I fought having Jackson in our bed last night. I wanted to drown my sorrows in a meaningless TV show and then fall asleep. But God knew better. He knew that I’d want my baby next to me when the storm hit. He knew I’d be blessed at 2am to have my muchkin breathing sweetly in my ear as the thunder rolled. He knew. I fought. In the end He won and I was blessed. This is my revelation.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
My Whole Life. My Whole World.
FLASHBACK FRIDAY: A Post on Motherhood to Celebrate All The Mamas Out There Ten years ago my husband and I loaded everything we owned into a moving van. We strapped our 15-month old into his car seat and headed 3,000 miles east to plant new …
Pass the Baton
Have you ever created something? A dream? A business? A group? A class? Some children? You put your heart and soul into your creation. Blood, sweat, and tears poured into one thing. Then, all of a sudden, you feel it. You feel that pit in …
Expiration Date
I set the milk down on the counter. My oldest took a sip and ate his breakfast. The middle kid took a sip and about died. The milk was bad. I checked the expiration date and it was still good. I smelled it (Why do we do this?) and sure enough, it was sour. Gross. I shudder just thinking about it.
You and I are the milk. We think we have expired yet, the date says we’re still good. We have allowed the ways of the world to tell us we are too old or too late. When, in actuality, God does not work on our time frame. He is infinite. If He wants to do something in and through you, it will happen regardless of time.
I turn 40 on Friday. Honestly, I cannot wait. I have been looking forward to this day since I turned 39. I don’t know why I am so excited about this next adventure, but I feel like a kid in a candy shop. I didn’t always feel this way, though. I, too, have struggled with feeling like I am past my expiration date.
It took me until I was 38 years old before I figured out what I want to be when I grow-up. I have always had the passions I am chasing. I haven’t, however, had the focus and ability to live out those passions until recently. It is easy for me to look to my left and my right and see how far behind I am in the game. People my age have established careers. I am just getting started.
“Every time you cross my mind, I break out in exclamations of thanks to God. Each exclamation is a trigger to prayer. I find myself praying for you with a glad heart. I am so pleased that you have continued on in this with us, believing and proclaiming God’s Message, from the day you heard it right up to the present. There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears.” Philippians 1:6 MSG (emphasis mine)
My only expiration date is the day I die or the day Jesus returns. Yours too. God started a good work in you and I the day we came into this world. Our expiration date is wrapped up in Jesus not this world. So, drop the number. You do not have an expiration date. If anything, according to Philippians 1:6, the older you get the more you flourish. Each passing day is an opportunity to grow and thrive. God placed a desire in your heart for a reason and that desire does not expire.
It is never too late when it comes to God. When things feel like they are taking too long or that you have missed your chance, remember that God is always on time. Look at some of these examples from the Bible…
Sara was 90 years old & Abraham was 100 years old when they had Isaac.
Moses was around 80 years old when he received the Ten Commandments.
Mary was a teen when she gave birth to Jesus.
God is all over the map when it comes to time and people coming into their callings. You may see some succeeding early in life. While others succeed much later. Neither is better than the other. Both are perfect in God’s timing.
When I look back on the journey that led me to this place, I can see that I needed every second. I started walking in my calling the moment I met Jesus. He began working in and through me the instant I crossed the line of faith. I needed every experience to get me to where I am today. I have not expired. I have only just begun.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
