The New Normal
Everyone is talking about a new normal. People are saying that they don’t want to go back to our old normal. I get it. There is plenty I want to leave in the past. But, that doesn’t mean we have to wipe everything out. Not …
Tag: growth
Winter is Coming
It was a super windy day. My husband and I were talking in his office when we both noticed that it literally looked like it was raining leaves. The wind was fierce and the trees were ready to drop their leaves. The perfect scenario. I …
Summer of Independence
I have some goals this summer. Like, get my kids to make themselves breakfast and tie their shoes. I want them to be able to man themselves for more than 2.5 seconds without Mama Camp Counselor calling the shots. I created three of you. Three built-in buddies. Surely, you can play together and entertain each other without my intervention. What I didn’t realize, is that teaching my kids independence meant I had to learn some independence, too.
I have served my family for twelve years. I left my teaching career eleven years ago to stay home and raise our kids. All I’ve known this season is serving others. My identity formed in the throws of motherhood. It’s hard to just let that go. My sister says that God doesn’t just pull the band-aid off. Little-by-little, your children gain their independence and slowly move from needing you for everything to only needing you for certain things.
As much as I want my boys to gain independence, I have realized that this is difficult for me. I know it’s my job to raise competent humans. But, it is also my job to love and care for them. I am learning that mommy has a lot of growing to do this summer, too.
Giving your children independence is a lot of work and not just for the kids. My heart needs to let go; if only just a little bit. I need to make space for the boys to learn, grow, and make mistakes outside of their mama. These are the moments that will propel them towards becoming a good human.
I’m not going to lie, though. It’s tough. Giving your kiddos independence means you lose a little control. Your kitchen may become a disaster; things left done but undone. Yet, we were all designed for independence.
Independence is where my children will find the God their dad and I talk about. Independence is where their faith will be tested and hopefully strengthened. Independence is where they will fall and learn their need for a Savior. Independence is the place where their faith will become their own. And this is what I want my kids to learn this summer.
This is the summer of independence. A summer of mom letting go and kids coming into their own. Space to make mistakes and find grace. A time to find and develop their need for and (hopefully) for Jesus. A season to realize they truly are capable of so many things. We will all be challenged, pressed upon, and frustrated at times. But, the reward is too great not to step into a summer of independence.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
Take Me To Church
I was sitting at Starbucks typing away and doing some research when a party of four sat down next to me. It was crowded and the tables were close. The two couples chatted about general life stuff for the first ten minutes or so. Yes, …
Imperfectly Perfect
FLASHBACK FRIDAY I am a recovering perfectionist. Weeellll, I can’t honestly say I’m recovered, but I am working on getting there. I did have to do about a bazillion things and get them all perfectly in order before I could sit down and write today. …
FLASHBACK FRIDAY: Recovering Perfectionist
I am a recovering perfectionist. Weeellll, I can’t honestly say I’m recovered, but I am working on getting there. I did have to do about a bazillion things and get them all perfectly in order before I could sit down and write today. So there’s that.
I have always chased perfection. Ever since I was little, I have had a longing for everything to be in its place; including my life. My lovies had a particular place on my bed. The knick-knacks and barbies all had a home. When I got married, my husband used to mess with my throw pillows because I had to have them in a certain order. I usually can’t sit down until everything is picked up and put away. When something in my life goes wrong, I react illogically and emotionally. It’s my fantasy for control.
Perfection is not attainable this side of Heaven.
I was on a walk admiring the scenery around our town lake. Everything grows naturally. There are so many types of plants, bushes, and trees. The turtles sun-bathe on the logs floating in the water. It’s gorgeous. Some people would love to see the landscape a little more manicured. I like it a little wild.
As I exited the trail, I thought about my boys. I thought I wanted perfection for them. But, I don’t. Perfection isn’t reality. I want them to live life, make mistakes, and experience reality. I don’t want them chasing something that they will never find. I want them to grow naturally, like the foliage around the lake. It is in that wild growth where beauty blossoms.
We desire to protect our children. We long to keep them safe and cushion them from getting hurt knowing that our hearts will shattered just as hard as theirs; if not more. But, when I look back at my journey, I see a slew of mistakes that made me who I am today. Mistakes taught me, humbled me, challenged me, made me stronger, shifted perspective, shifted directions, and taught me more than I would ever had known had I lived a sheltered life. I don’t want my boys to hurt, but I do want them to learn.
“Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:12
Perfection isn’t reality until eternity. If I convince my sons that they can live a perfect life than I am preventing them from wanting more for themselves, for their friends, for their families, for the strangers they meet. I don’t want to limit them by sheltering them from imperfection.
I look at the trail down by the lake seeing the untamed landscape and am reminded that life grows there. Life expands in all its twists and turns and knotted limbs. Sometimes, there is overgrowth that needs to be trimmed back or weeds that need pulling. But, that’s where experience happens and wisdom matures.
I want life for my kids, not perfection. I will (slowly) give them wings as they filter out this life being there to help them trim back the impassable trail and pull out the stuff that’s choking them down. I will remind them that they were meant for more: their longing is a longing for eternity where perfection will meet them at the gates. For now, however, I will teach them to embrace the longing for perfection and not to shy away from the imperfect because that’s where Jesus resides. I will show them my scars and allow them to see that mommy, too, lives an imperfect life. We will trudge along together on the path where the terrain runs wild and free learning, growing, and searching for the only One that can bring us true perfection.
Love & Blessings,
Meg