The Preteen Years
When I sat back on my own and thought about the season we were about to enter, I was smacked in the face with one thing: the moment my son steps foot on that middle school campus, the countdown begins.
Tag: kids
The One About Emotions
What kind of home did you grow up in? Was it loud and boisterous like mine? Or quiet and reserved like Sarah’s? In this week’s episode, Sarah and I talk about how we dehumanize ourselves as moms. We believe that hiding our emotional state protects …
Momo No Mo: YouTube and the Rise of Parenting Scared
If I open my feed and see Momo one more time, I may take a hammer to my device. If you haven’t seen this terrifying puppet thing with a creepy and distorted Snap Chat filter, consider yourself lucky. It’s like a character straight out of a Tim Burton horror movie.
The Momo Epidemic
I like to call this the “Momo Epidemic”. A terrifying article about our kids goes viral and we lose our minds. We read with mouths wide open in disbelief wondering how on earth our kids’ world ever got so bad. The moment we process the last period of the article, we call the kids down for a family meeting. No prayer first. No consideration or time to process what we just read. No. We have an immediate knee-jerk response to call the kids down, gather all their devices never to be returned again. Or, we begin to Marie Kondo their tablets and smart phones deleting anything and everything that has the potential to attack our children.
Can I tell you something? Momo is nothing new. Evil and darkness has been a part of this world since day one. When I was a kid, it was Ouija boards and the tail of Bloody Mary. Evil was just as alive and active way back when as it is today. It’s just morphed into a different form.
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7
Are articles informative? Absolutely. Should these viral posts be what triggers our parenting? Absolutely not. Articles and viral posts should be an add-on to what we are already doing. It is time we stop looking up from our phones after a creepy face pops up and start parenting from looking up from our Bibles.
It is time we stop looking up from our phones after a creepy face pops up and start parenting from looking up from our Bibles.
Before you stop reading, let me explain. Momo is out there. Momo has always been out there. Evil will take on whatever form necessary. Do not be so consumed by fear. That is not the place God desires us to parent from. We are not unaware of Satan’s schemes. Lest we forget that God has given us protection from the evils and darkness in this world and it is not found on Facebook. It is found in the Book. And, He’s given this to us so that we may give it to our kids.
Don’t be scared. Evil is no surprise to God. Read the Old Testament. There was a whole-heck-of-a-lot of evil way back when. But, here’s the good news: we are victorious in this fight. Victorious.
I know I can do a much better job parenting my boys from the Word rather then Facebook. I can improve on reading more about how God designed me to parent and how my children are designed to receive discipline and guidance from the Bible rather then consuming more articles posted in my feed.
Momo is out there. And if it’s not Momo, it’s something else. Stop running from evil (& let’s stop teaching our children to run) because it will chase you down Start running towards evil, instead, putting on your full armor of God knowing the you AND your children are victorious because you have equipped them with the right weapons to defeat the darkness that tries to infiltrate their lives.
Stop running from evil because it will chase you down. Start running towards evil, instead, knowing you are already victorious in this fight.
I know we, as parents, want to protect our children at all costs. We would do anything to keep them wrapped securely in a safe bubble. Unfortunately, that is not possible. What is possible is the ability to empower our kids with the necessary tools to be able to combat evil when it enters their world; because it will enter their world.
Look, I’m not saying we ignore these things. But, they can’t be our primary source. Let them serve as a reminder of what God has already told us: there is a very real enemy out there and he comes to seek, kill, and destroy us. What better way to do this than through our kids.
Don’t be parent scared. Stop allowing viral posts to prompt you to parent from a place of fear. Instead, parent from the Bible equipping your children with truth. Parenting from this place elicits peace and enables our kids to have the power when evil tries to get in.
I did it wrong. I parented from a reactionary state and didn’t take time to process. I didn’t allow discernment to enter the equation. I just jumped. And because of that, my son has a vision he created in his mind that he can’t shake. Because I didn’t take a second to pray and ask God to guide me in how to maneuver this situation first, I didn’t give my boys the proper tools to combat this evil. Because of this, I allowed fear to enter their lives.
One day, these little boys are going to be grown. They won’t have me or their dad to help them handle the evils of this world. It is our responsibility to train them up (Proverbs 22:6) with power confident in their ability to run towards evil when it arises because they know they are equipped to fight it.
It is no surprise to anyone that parenting is hard stuff. All of us strive to do what’s best hoping for the best. And just when we feel like we are on top of our game, something like this comes along and knocks us down. Momo is a good reminder to us all that evil is out there and very present in our world. Let this reminder not scare us but empower us to fight that much harder against the darkness of our world. The fight begins in the Word. Start there.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
Raising Thinkers
I like to tell my kids what to do. I’m just being honest. I like feeling like I have some semblance of control over their lives. It makes me feel safe. It helps me feel like nothing bad can happen to them. I know this …
Top 10 for Mama’s
Being a mom is the greatest gift. It can also be the most difficult task you’ve ever faced. From joy to frustration, excitement to panic, pride to worry, motherhood brings so many emotions. I watched some mama’s send their kids off to a weekend away. …
The Preteen Years
FLASHBACK FRIDAY…
Since we talked about faith and kids on Facebook this week, (watch here https://www.facebook.com/themessymingling/ ) I thought it would be fun to do a flashback post when I wrote about my feelings on our oldest entering middle school. My hope is that this post help you exhale and truly enjoy this special season with your kid.
Happy parenting!
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He was sitting at the counter, his dad beside him. It was early; before 7am. They were working through some last minute math homework. Never-mind the fact that he had ALL weekend to complete his assignment. Who am I kidding? I would have put off my homework over the weekend, too.
There is a lot of chatter out there. Chatter about how the middle schools years are scary and really really awful. Chatter about how this world will devour your child once he leaves the safety-net of elementary school. Chatter about technology and how it will kidnap your child’s mind and lead them to the registered sex offenders list for life. Chatter. Lots and lots of chatter.
Can we squash that chatter? I think so. I am here to tell you the preteen years are not to be feared. They are to be relished.
I heard it all when my oldest was in fifth grade. We mamas all started thinking about what we should expect the next year. Just like when your preschooler moves on to kindergarten, the elementary to middle school jump makes your kid seem so old; so alien. We try to determine what this uncharted territory would hold. Since we had no experience with middle school, all we had to hold onto were stories of parents who had gone before. Eek. I didn’t particularly like what they had to say.
When I sat back on my own and thought about the season we were about to enter, I was smacked in the face with one thing: the moment my son steps foot on that middle school campus, the countdown begins.
With each passing, season, time seems to speed up. The moment he begins middle school is the moment the next seven years will ignite and zoom by at warp speed. I have one chance, one opportunity, to make these years count and I was determined in that moment to do just that.
I want to enjoy my kids. Let’s face it…life with kids is extraordinary and challenging. Parenting is no joke. You need the physical stamina of a boxer and the emotional stamina of a first responder. What I have learned in my twelve years as a parent, however, is that parenting has everything to do with perspective.
If I enter these middle school years believing the chatter that they are the most awful years on God’s green earth, than that is exactly what they will be. Rather, if I pierce this road with the perspective of opportunity, an opportunity to love, learn, and watch my son grow from a boy to a man, than the whole season shifts.
It is time we shift the chatter. Middle school years (and high school, for that matter) is not a season to be feared. Instead, it is an opportunity to witness your child finding themselves. You get to see them become the adult you always dreamed and hoped they would become. What an awesome privilege. The moment you step foot into this uncharted territory, you get to watch them use those wings you have been helping them grow all these years. They will take a dive and fall to the ground a few times as they try and spread those wings. But, eventually, they will soar like you could never have imagined and it will be the most beautiful sight.
Do not fear the middle school years. They are precious. It is holy ground. You shift from teaching and training to guiding and walking alongside. You witness them make some pretty awesome choices all on their own without you. This is so very bittersweet knowing you are having to slowly let go a little more each day but reveling in the glory that is who your child is becoming. What an awesome privilege.
Middle schoolers are so weird and funny and goofy. You can tease them and mess with them in the very best ways. They do things that make you shake your head and make your chin fall to the floor (in a good way) all at the same time. Preteens are incredible beings full of a mess of hormones and growing and awkwardness. It is greatness!
I think you will be surprised when you enter those dreaded middle school years. You will be astounded to discover how much you love this time with your preteen holding so tightly to the precious years you have left with them. You will truly enjoy the shifting of your relationship from mommy to mom to confident and adviser.
The preteen years were never meant to be fretted or feared. They were meant to stretch you and grow you as a parent as you are learning and sifting just as much as they are. It is an opportunity to build relationship that will last and only be enhanced through their adult life. The preteen years are an opportunity to step back and enable your child to fall so that they may discover themselves, their faith, and who they want to be.
I didn’t think I would like the preteen years so much. I always thought of myself as a baby/toddler loving mom. But man, this whole getting to watch your kids grow up thing is nothing shy of magnificent. What an awesome privilege it is to witness these kids become who God designed them to be all along.
Stop the negative chatter. Don’t be afraid of the middle school years. This is sacred space.
There’s an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth:
“A right time for birth and another for death,
A right time to plant and another to reap,
A right time to kill and another to heal,
A right time to destroy and another to construct,
A right time to cry and another to laugh,
A right time to lament and another to cheer,
A right time to make love and another to abstain,
A right time to embrace and another to part,
A right time to search and another to count your losses,
A right time to hold on and another to let go,
A right time to rip out and another to mend,
A right time to shut up and another to speak up,
A right time to love and another to hate,
A right time to wage war and another to make peace.
But in the end, does it really make a difference what anyone does? I’ve had a good look at what God has given us to do—busywork, mostly. True, God made everything beautiful in itself and in its time—but he’s left us in the dark, so we can never know what God is up to, whether he’s coming or going. I’ve decided that there’s nothing better to do than go ahead and have a good time and get the most we can out of life. That’s it—eat, drink, and make the most of your job. It’s God’s gift.”
Ecclesiastes 3:1-13
The preteen years: they are a precious gift from God .
Love & Blessings,
Meg
Let Them GO
I bawled my eyes out pulling away after dropping my babies off at sleep-away camp. I couldn’t wait to get to FaceTime my oldest while he was on his missions trip. The fish died and I couldn’t resurrect him. On the first day of school. …
Summer Dreams
My childhood summers were spent in Southern California. We spent our days barefoot and outside. We didn’t come inside until we heard our moms yelling our names or the street lights came on. We explored, ran around in the street of our cul-de-sac, and road our bikes to Thrifties to get 10 cent ice cream cones and candy cigarettes (Don’t freak out. It was a thing back then. I can’t explain it.) I was always dirty in the best way and exhausted. It was amazing.
My kids’ summers don’t look like mine. They aren’t supposed to. But, that doesn’t stop me from wanting their summers to be a reflection of mine. My boys’ summers aren’t my summers. They are theirs. I need to stop parenting my kids from my childhood and start parenting them from theirs.
Christine Caine said in a podcast once that she can’t parent her daughter (when it comes to technology) from her upbringing when she had none. That’s not her daughter’s reality. It was time to stop telling her how it used to be and start parenting her as it is. What truth!
We need to stop trying to parent our kids according to how it used to be and start parenting them how it is.
It is time I stop telling my boys that my childhood summers are the best way to live and start letting them create their own summertime memories. Memories of getting to talk to and play with their friends on Fortnite (reminds me of party line for their generation). I need to give them space to create their own summer adventures instead of forcing them to live mine. It’s time I stop expecting them to live my past life (I mean, they are seriously missing out on drinking from the hose) and start letting them live their own. Most of the time, I end up frustrating myself because I am trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. It just doesn’t fit.
Their summer is THEIRS. It is time to drop the stipulations and expectations for an 80s summer and let them live theirs. I cannot wait to hear them recall their childhood summers when they get older. I bet you I will be surprised to hear their descriptions. I can almost guarantee I will see their faces light up when they remember the summers past. And I can also bet they will have the same struggles as you and I when it comes to parenting their own kiddos in the summertime.
This is their time. These are their memories. It is time I sit on the sidelines a bit more and allow my boys space to create their own summertime memories. Because honestly, there is nothing better then remembering the summers of your childhood.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
Recovering Perfectionist
<FLASHBACK FRIDAY> I am a recovering perfectionist. Weeellll, I can’t honestly say I’m recovered, but I am working on getting there. I did have to do about a bazillion things and get them all perfectly in order before I could sit down and write today. …