Finding Faith in the Mess
If I open my feed and see Momo one more time, I may take a hammer to my device. If you haven’t seen this terrifying puppet thing with a creepy and distorted Snap Chat filter, consider yourself lucky. It’s like a character straight out of …
Reckless love. It is a necessity. Our kids are longing for it. And so is the parent sitting next to you. None of us deserve a reckless love. No one can earn a reckless love. Yet, when we were a foe, He still loved us. If we are privy to such a love, we must be that much more willing to give it all away.
I ran into a friend in the shaving cream aisle at Target. We hadn’t seen each other in quite some time and started to catch up. She was overwhelmingly exhausted due to motherhood. I, being on the other side of motherhood, was able to tell her it wasn’t always going to be this way. And what better place to talk our motherhood whoas out then with a Starbucks and red cart? Am I right?!?!
When I got home, I had a vision. I remembered what I felt like when I was in the throws of motherhood. At one point, I had an infant, one year old, and four year old. Even though I loved being a mom, I felt depleted and exhausted most days. I got the vision of a tree in the winter. The branches are stark. The tree is barren. Nothing is blooming. Then, all of a sudden, as spring nears, a bloom bops through. And another bloom. And another until the tree is full of wondrous colors.
The tree is me. I felt stark and barren when the boys were little giving my everything to them. I was depleted. As the boys got older, I began to rediscover myself. All of a sudden, one bloom popped out. Then another. And another until my tree was full again.
Motherhood is magical. It is also exhausting. We tend to neglect and reject ourselves in order to care for these precious souls entrusted to us. At some point, though, our barren trees need to bloom again. That won’t happen unless you’re willing to water it.
It is time we stop neglecting and rejecting ourselves.
Our trees will remain desolate as long as we neglect and reject ourselves. For some reason, we have convinced ourselves that sacrificing all of us is what motherhood (and life) is about. I am here to tell you that you are no good to those kiddos (or anyone for that matter) if you don’t love yourself.
“Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.” Ephesians 1:4-5
God loved you before he created the world. Can you believe that? He wanted you to be a part of his family because it made him happy. No matter how depleted, exhausted, unworthy, or depressed you may feel today, know that the God of the universe loved you so much that he thought of you before he placed on star in the skies. He loves you so much that he created you to be a part of his family because it makes him happy.
You are worthy to bloom. You were never meant to stay in a barren season. There is something in you that he created that brings him great joy. Stop neglecting and rejecting yourself and find that thing.
You are worthy of more.
It is time your barren tree starts to bloom. There is too much beauty within you to be withheld.
Bloom.
Stop neglecting and rejecting yourself and bloom.
We need you to bloom.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
Being a mom is the greatest gift. It can also be the most difficult task you’ve ever faced. From joy to frustration, excitement to panic, pride to worry, motherhood brings so many emotions. I watched some mama’s send their kids off to a weekend away. …
When Jackson was a baby, I would hop into my car on my lunch break and rush to his day care to see him. I had thirty minutes with my baby and I needed every last second. I was a mess of a new mom …
FLASHBACK FRIDAY…
Since we talked about faith and kids on Facebook this week, (watch here https://www.facebook.com/themessymingling/ ) I thought it would be fun to do a flashback post when I wrote about my feelings on our oldest entering middle school. My hope is that this post help you exhale and truly enjoy this special season with your kid.
Happy parenting!
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He was sitting at the counter, his dad beside him. It was early; before 7am. They were working through some last minute math homework. Never-mind the fact that he had ALL weekend to complete his assignment. Who am I kidding? I would have put off my homework over the weekend, too.
There is a lot of chatter out there. Chatter about how the middle schools years are scary and really really awful. Chatter about how this world will devour your child once he leaves the safety-net of elementary school. Chatter about technology and how it will kidnap your child’s mind and lead them to the registered sex offenders list for life. Chatter. Lots and lots of chatter.
Can we squash that chatter? I think so. I am here to tell you the preteen years are not to be feared. They are to be relished.
I heard it all when my oldest was in fifth grade. We mamas all started thinking about what we should expect the next year. Just like when your preschooler moves on to kindergarten, the elementary to middle school jump makes your kid seem so old; so alien. We try to determine what this uncharted territory would hold. Since we had no experience with middle school, all we had to hold onto were stories of parents who had gone before. Eek. I didn’t particularly like what they had to say.
When I sat back on my own and thought about the season we were about to enter, I was smacked in the face with one thing: the moment my son steps foot on that middle school campus, the countdown begins.
With each passing, season, time seems to speed up. The moment he begins middle school is the moment the next seven years will ignite and zoom by at warp speed. I have one chance, one opportunity, to make these years count and I was determined in that moment to do just that.
I want to enjoy my kids. Let’s face it…life with kids is extraordinary and challenging. Parenting is no joke. You need the physical stamina of a boxer and the emotional stamina of a first responder. What I have learned in my twelve years as a parent, however, is that parenting has everything to do with perspective.
If I enter these middle school years believing the chatter that they are the most awful years on God’s green earth, than that is exactly what they will be. Rather, if I pierce this road with the perspective of opportunity, an opportunity to love, learn, and watch my son grow from a boy to a man, than the whole season shifts.
It is time we shift the chatter. Middle school years (and high school, for that matter) is not a season to be feared. Instead, it is an opportunity to witness your child finding themselves. You get to see them become the adult you always dreamed and hoped they would become. What an awesome privilege. The moment you step foot into this uncharted territory, you get to watch them use those wings you have been helping them grow all these years. They will take a dive and fall to the ground a few times as they try and spread those wings. But, eventually, they will soar like you could never have imagined and it will be the most beautiful sight.
Do not fear the middle school years. They are precious. It is holy ground. You shift from teaching and training to guiding and walking alongside. You witness them make some pretty awesome choices all on their own without you. This is so very bittersweet knowing you are having to slowly let go a little more each day but reveling in the glory that is who your child is becoming. What an awesome privilege.
Middle schoolers are so weird and funny and goofy. You can tease them and mess with them in the very best ways. They do things that make you shake your head and make your chin fall to the floor (in a good way) all at the same time. Preteens are incredible beings full of a mess of hormones and growing and awkwardness. It is greatness!
I think you will be surprised when you enter those dreaded middle school years. You will be astounded to discover how much you love this time with your preteen holding so tightly to the precious years you have left with them. You will truly enjoy the shifting of your relationship from mommy to mom to confident and adviser.
The preteen years were never meant to be fretted or feared. They were meant to stretch you and grow you as a parent as you are learning and sifting just as much as they are. It is an opportunity to build relationship that will last and only be enhanced through their adult life. The preteen years are an opportunity to step back and enable your child to fall so that they may discover themselves, their faith, and who they want to be.
I didn’t think I would like the preteen years so much. I always thought of myself as a baby/toddler loving mom. But man, this whole getting to watch your kids grow up thing is nothing shy of magnificent. What an awesome privilege it is to witness these kids become who God designed them to be all along.
Stop the negative chatter. Don’t be afraid of the middle school years. This is sacred space.
There’s an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth:
“A right time for birth and another for death,
A right time to plant and another to reap,
A right time to kill and another to heal,
A right time to destroy and another to construct,
A right time to cry and another to laugh,
A right time to lament and another to cheer,
A right time to make love and another to abstain,
A right time to embrace and another to part,
A right time to search and another to count your losses,
A right time to hold on and another to let go,
A right time to rip out and another to mend,
A right time to shut up and another to speak up,
A right time to love and another to hate,
A right time to wage war and another to make peace.
But in the end, does it really make a difference what anyone does? I’ve had a good look at what God has given us to do—busywork, mostly. True, God made everything beautiful in itself and in its time—but he’s left us in the dark, so we can never know what God is up to, whether he’s coming or going. I’ve decided that there’s nothing better to do than go ahead and have a good time and get the most we can out of life. That’s it—eat, drink, and make the most of your job. It’s God’s gift.”
Ecclesiastes 3:1-13
The preteen years: they are a precious gift from God .
Love & Blessings,
Meg
I bawled my eyes out pulling away after dropping my babies off at sleep-away camp. I couldn’t wait to get to FaceTime my oldest while he was on his missions trip. The fish died and I couldn’t resurrect him. On the first day of school. …
Dear End of the School Year,
You got me. Long gone are the days of a freezer filled with meals ready to bake. No longer are lunches packed perfectly the night before containing sweet little love notes to my boys. Clothes are not washed and organized on Sunday ready for the week’s wear. The alarm goes off and I do not immediately spring into action ready to tackle the day before me. Nope. You got me end of the school year. You got me good.
The snooze button is often hit one too many times. Lunches are packed in a panic as I wipe the drool off my face impatiently waiting for my coffee to finish brewing. I have every good intention to pre-make dinner stocking our freezer full, but find myself instead scrambling to make dinner because I forgot to defrost the meat, yet again. Laundry piles are high and school forms forbear to be signed. School projects are completed the night before they are due. Library books are forgotten on the shelf at home and reading logs lack a parental signature.
We are all longing for the lazy days of summer. Bare feet and sleeping in are on the agenda. I long for the days where I don’t take a shower because we have been at the lake all day not because I am running around and don’t have the time. I long for snow cones for dinner and side walk chalk covering my driveway; days where we play outside well into the night not knowing the time nor caring. I need days that aren’t demanding we be somewhere on time or have something to do. Days where we watch too much TV because it is too hot to be outside. Fireworks, swimming, and the smell of sunscreen on my skin is beckoning me. I want to eat fresh watermelon and burgers right off the grill. I am ready to feel the warm ground under my bare feet watching my kids get dirty and sweaty in the heat of summer.
I typically long for organization and activity as opposed to laziness and chaos. But this soul is churning for some rest. I need a break and I am not even the one going to school. I feel the teachers pushing through each day, all the while, the countdown to summer is also on their minds. I know because I used to be one. So, this organized type-A personality gal is throwing it all to the wind and surviving these next 2.5 days. Soon the school year will come to a close and endless summer days will be upon us. Our bodies will ache for routine to come back around in a few months. I will long for days planned out and meals on-hand in the freezer once again. But, for now, I long for summer. End of the year, you got me.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
I wanted to wrap-up my series on miscarriage by telling our complete story. It’s always helpful to get the whole story instead of just bits and pieces. My husband and I were married for almost four years before we started trying to have a baby. …
