Take a Hike, 2018
Oh, 2018.
I could write an entire blog post just about the bad things that have happened this year. Floods. Illness. Death. It seems especially difficult on the back side. But, there is a part of me that wants to hold onto you for a bit. There is something about taking you all in, 2018; even the tough stuff.
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
Every year matters. Every day. Every moment. They matter. If I wish them all away, then I am saying they don’t matter. And if I say they don’t matter, than ultimately, I am saying God doesn’t matter.
A few hours after we told the boys about our dog, he couldn’t sleep. My eldest came down and asked me to pray for him. He had some questions first.
Why do bad things happen to good people?
Is it okay to question if God is real?
What if I don’t feel Him?
Tough stuff. But, such GOOD stuff. We talked through his questions and then we prayed. When I was done, he asked me if he could pray and add onto what I had said. Of course I told him yes! He let God know that he didn’t really think He was real for a moment. But, this trial, the pain of losing his dog, led him to press into his faith a little more feeling God’s presence in the pressing.
This right here is why I can’t wish away 2018.
I can’t always answer the “why’s”. I honestly don’t think we are always supposed to know why. What I can do is look for the nudges. Every time we have received or experience some terrible no good news in a terrible no good situation, God has met me there. Every time.
When my dad had a stroke earlier this year, I prayed on the way to the ER letting God know He was going to have to show up for me. I told Him I wasn’t going to be able to do this if He didn’t show Himself to me. And you know what? He showed up. He showed up in a peace that I could not explain. He showed up in sweet time with my sister where we could just be together with no agenda. He showed up in my husband jumping in and doing what needed to be done so I could be there for my dad. He showed up.
God showed up when Charlotte started struggling. She waited for us to get home so that our friends who were watching the boys while we were away did not have to deal with such a horrible situation. He kept the boys asleep so they didn’t have to see the horror of their dog suffering. He let the situation to be quick and not drawn out.
He gave me friends who have loved on us deep and wide and big. He gave me a big huge bright blue sky and a beautiful day to enjoy. He gave me time away with my husband and rest.
Without the bad, there wouldn’t be any of the good.
I don’t want to wish 2018 away. I don’t want to wish any of it away. My life wouldn’t be as full and rich with a piece of it missing. The good sustains me. The bad helps me see and appreciate the good. It helps me realize my need for Him.
As 2019 nears, don’t wish 2018 away. Relish in all its messy beauty. That’s the thing about life, faith, and their messy mingling. It’s complex. Disheveled. Scruffy. Tousled. Tangled. Beautiful. It’s all necessary. Every moment. Every breath. All of it.
Rest in the story. Let it press into your soul even when it stings. Because that pressing leads to the glorious.
Love & Blessings,
Meg