I have a sister-in-law who fights for me. She fights for me to stop being so hard on myself. She sees in me what I can’t see in myself. I get texts and DMs from her encouraging me to love me better.

There’s a push for us to love ourselves. We champion self-care and self-love. While I think this is good, we have to be careful how we do this. We need to learn to love ourselves. Why? Because He first loved us. (John 3:16 )

I recently recorded a podcast (Live Messy Podcast) where we discussed how God designed us. Over and over again, I came back to the same thing. You and me? We are wonderful just because. We are wonderful just because He created us. We aren’t wonderful because of what we do or don’t do; of what we did or didn’t do. We aren’t wonderful because we succeeded when everyone else failed. We aren’t wonderful because we achieved all that we were striving for. We aren’t wonderful because we followed all the rules. We are wonderful because we are created by a Creator. (Psalm 139:14 )

So, you may be asking yourself: How do I love myself? How do I get to the place of contentment with me? Well, here are a few things I do when I’m not feeling the love for myself.

Stop trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. What works for her, may not work for you. It probably needs to be tweaked to fit you and your unique ways. We can stop chasing what she’s doing because you’re not her. When you stop forcing her life to fit into yours, you find freedom and contentment.

When you feel like a failure, when you’ve made a mistake, when you feel like you are sprinting uphill all the time and doubt yourself, let Psalm 139 be a reminder. You are wonderful. Period. Just because you are made by Him. There’s nothing you did or can do that makes you any more or less wonderful. You are wonderful because you are His creation.

There is a call on your life whether you believe in Jesus or not. We are all designed to do something/be something. That’s what makes this world so beautiful: we are unique. That’s why I fear this fight for unity in thought and life. I truly believe we will miss out if we fight for one thought one life argument.

He has plans for you. Whether or not you succeed at what you are doing, there is a plan. And sometimes that plan looks like failure, walking away, or not achieving. The plan doesn’t always look like a solution or destination. Sometimes the plan is just the journey because that journey leads you to Him.

Let what others see in you sustain you when you can’t love yourself. Remember what His Word tells you. There is nothing in the Bible that tells you how awful you are. If anything, the crazy stories we find in the Bible should move you to feel a bit more normal in all your crazy and inadequacy.

I’ll make you a deal. I will remind you that you are lovable just because if you remind me. Let’s speak life into each other reminding one another that faith isn’t found in perfection. Faith is found in the mess and that mess, especially your messy self, is the most lovable of all.

Love & Blessings,

Meg