Raising Puppies is Like Raising Kids Which is Like Finding Grace
Grace is not a chase. Grace is a journey of discovery. A discovery of how much you are loved.
Tag: failure
Episode 6: The One About the Dreams
Do you have a dream? If time. money, and circumstances weren’t an issue, what is the one thing you would do? What is hidden in your heart that you want to do but are too scared to speak out loud?
Top 10 for Mama’s
Being a mom is the greatest gift. It can also be the most difficult task you’ve ever faced. From joy to frustration, excitement to panic, pride to worry, motherhood brings so many emotions. I watched some mama’s send their kids off to a weekend away. This weekend would consist of connection, fellowship, and spiritual growth for these kids. Mine didn’t go. There were many reason he didn’t attend. But, you know what I saw? Failure. I saw my kid not participating in something spiritual and that, in turn, caused the chatter in my head to begin and all the labels of failure to move in.
Mama’s, you were not created to mom like her. He created you to mom like YOU. If He didn’t trust you in the raising up of these kids, He would have never given them to you. He knows you are going to fail. He knows you are going to struggle. He also knows that you are going to succeed in raising these children because He is walking right alongside you.
So, here is a Mama’s Top 10. Hopefully it helps us all feel a little less guilty and a little more confident in our momming skils.
- You will frequently feel like you are failing them or falling short. You’re NOT. Remember, Mary lost Jesus, the Son of God, for days. He didn’t take her mothering title away from her for that snafu.
- You were made for this. Yup. You were created to mom exactly these kids exactly this way.
- The kids were fed today. They made it to school with clothes & shoes on. They ate something )Even if it was half a granola bar thrown at them in the car because you were late.) You succeeded in your parenting today.
- Your kids are going to mess up. You didn’t fail. They’re kids. They are supposed to mess up.
- Hugs & kisses go a LONG way.
- Stop. Don’t try and do everything. Just do the next thing that is right in front of you.
- No one ever failed 2nd grade because their mom didn’t sign their reading log.
- They need to fail. They need to make mistakes. They need to fall and get hurt. It helps them become healthy adults and gives you an opportunity to be there for them.
- They don’t need your perfectly crafted words at just the right moment. They don’t need the perfectly made craft to take to school or the hand-sewn costume. They don’t need you showered, in shape, or put together. They just need YOU.
- You are doing a good job.
Mother’s are invaluable to God’s Kingdom.
“Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.”
Proverbs 31:28-29
Death by Motherhood
Is there such thing as death by motherhood? Because I think this break just may kill me. Or, I may break like a badly beaten toy. Mercy. This has been a tough season; probably one of my most exhausting seasons of motherhood yet and that is saying a lot.
I have an innate desire to enjoy my boys. I know I will blink and they will all be taller than me and moved out of my house. So, I try to be intentional with the time I do have with these kids before they don’t want to snuggle their mama anymore.
However, this season, say a week or so before Christmas until now, the Fish boys have completely lost their marbles. Like, went-off-the-rails-who-are-these-children-because-you-are-not-mine-crazy. Everything from bickering non-stop, talking back to their father and I, and losing all modes of self-control.
I AM DONE.
I am in this weird season where my kids (ages 7, 8, and 11) still need me but don’t need me as much. It’s this bizarre triangle where I am trying to find my place in their lives while giving them independence at the same time.
Motherhood, man. It’s a mystery.
Every season has its challenges, but this one feels especially hard. Their needs have changed from wiping their heiny’s and getting them snacks to making sure they are good humans and not impulsive. Impulsive behavior no longer means jutting out into the street. It now comes with consequences bigger than any of us are equipped to deal with.
These past two weeks have completely depleted and exhausted me. I feel like I have disciplined more and enjoyed less. That is heart-wrenching for me. I don’t know if it is because of the extreme cold, being trapped indoors, lack of schedule, and no structure to our days or I did them wrong by getting them used to mom being the “cruise director.”
I feel like a failure.
I know you have, too. I am here to tell you, to tell myself, we are not failures. These moments, these hard, “I don’t think I am going to survive” moments are where the real growth happens. This space not only stretches us mamas farther than we think we can go, but it also shows our kids that we need Jesus just as much as they do. We can’t mom alone. I don’t know why we try to so often.
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” Psalm 139:13
We usually refer to this verse for ourselves and how uniquely God made us. However, I see it differently today. I need to see it differently today. God knit my boys together in MY womb on purpose. He knows I will fail. He knows I will flounder. He knows I will think I can’t do this. He also knows that I am the perfect one for the job. He chose me to be Jackson, Grady, and Wyatt’s mom even in those not-to-proud mama moments.
The seasons of struggle in motherhood (sometimes they seem like everyday) are the seasons when Jesus is most present because he is so needed. He stands in the gap that we cannot fill no matter how hard we try. This gives me hope and lessens my striving.
So, we will go on a walk because boys are like puppies and need to get their energy out. We will come home and have dinner and pretend that bedtime and showers are a huge surprise and an opportunity to run around the house naked like frat boys. And I will collapse in my bed thanking God for all of my successes and failures in my momming today because they all mattered and they all were necessary. My day had purpose in my sons’ lives regardless if I was Pinterest mom or mommy dearest.
Let Jesus stand in the gaps. Remember that he chose you to be the place he would knit together the beautiful lives of your children to give purpose and glory to his kingdom. We are not failures. We are his and he holds us close.
We will not die by motherhood. Although, some days may seem like it. Our children will see moms who gave their everything every moment of every day but still needed Jesus and so do they. May we be the vessel with which they see and find their Savior in and through our success and failures of motherhood.
I am praying for you. Rally on mamas. You’ve got this! And so do I!
Love & Blessings,
Meg