Church and the Table
I pinned plans and pictures of farmhouse tables to my Pinterest board. It was time for us to get a new table and I had the perfect one pictured in my head. The table we had was getting a little small and a little worn …
Tag: grace
Take Me To Church
I was sitting at Starbucks typing away and doing some research when a party of four sat down next to me. It was crowded and the tables were close. The two couples chatted about general life stuff for the first ten minutes or so. Yes, …
Lightning, Thunderstorms, oh…Revelation???
FLASHBACK POST: …a continuation of my series on miscarriage.
This entry is vulnerable, real, and raw. The dead of night is always the hardest when you are going through something tough. It is when you are completely alone in your feelings. I remember this night like it was yesterday. While it was difficult, it was also so very sweet. The time I had with the Lord during this trial is something I envy now. I wanted you, dear reader, to know that in the dead of night when it hurts so deep you don’t think you will pull out of it, you are not alone.
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I went to bed last night defeated. I wept myself to sleep praying to God. I am overwhelmed. I don’t know what to say or pray. I begin asking God the “why’s.” Why am I still going through the physical aspects of a miscarriage? It’s been almost a month. Why was my uncle taken so quickly from my aunt and his children? They were supposed to grow old traveling together and enjoying one another. Why are my best friends being put through the trial of their life with no answers? Why does their sweet baby boy who is a perfect angel have to endure this? Why are our friends in California enduring a trial that has lasted more than two years? Why God? Why? To top it all off, I was exhausted and Jackson would not go down. Scott and I tried for over two hours to get the little guy down but he would cry so hard he made himself sick. So, he ended up in our bed. Although this usually is a blessing, I know I am not going to get the much needed rest I longed for because I would have toddler toes stuck in my ribs all night. I did, however, finally fall asleep around midnight.
Two hours later I was awakened by one of our loudest thunderstorms yet. With lightning flashing all around illuminating our room and thunder booming viciously, I begin to sense God’s power. I have always had a fear of thunderstorms from the time I can remember. I don’t know why. My heart was racing at first, and then I was calmed. I realized that God is all powerful. He is in control. He showed me His power last night as the hail came plummeting down and the rain poured out of the clouds so fast that I thought the water was going to break through our roof. However, I was not afraid. I basked in God’s power.
I thought about all the trials that are in and around me. They reminded me of this storm; a violent turn in all our lives that we don’t understand. As the storm kept on ferociously I began to think about our trials and how excruciatingly painful they are; how bad they hurt. Like the storm, they twist and turn in us and seem like they are never going to end. Then, there is silence. The storm just stops. The house is quiet; still. “Be still and know that I am God.”(Psalm 46:10) He will quiet the storm. He always does even when it seems like it will never end. The clouds will roll back and the sun will shine. Our trials, too, will fade. And we will see His glory and sense that refreshing clean smell that comes after a good hard rain.
So, what did I learn. I learned that the storm is hard right now. But, even in the midst of the chaos of lightning flashes and thunder rolling, He is still near. He is powerful and shall overcome the burden(s) that are so deep. I fought having Jackson in our bed last night. I wanted to drown my sorrows in a meaningless TV show and then fall asleep. But God knew better. He knew that I’d want my baby next to me when the storm hit. He knew I’d be blessed at 2am to have my muchkin breathing sweetly in my ear as the thunder rolled. He knew. I fought. In the end He won and I was blessed. This is my revelation.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
On My Knees
FLASHBACK POST: Lately, I have realized that I need to share what brought me into the blogging world: my story. My original blog (hello, MySpace) was a place where I recorded milestones and triumphs of our first born and our adventures in a new town. …
Be the Change
I did it, y’all. I did what we all do. I saw the controversial post and got sucked into the train wreck that is the comment feed left in its wake. This one wasn’t too bad. Well, in regards to today’s standards, that is. I …
Get Out of the Way
Are we getting in the way of the Church?
If you study any type of church history, you will find that it is and has always been messy. People are involved. People are complicated. If people are complicated and people are what make up the church, then the church becomes a bit convoluted.
The (collective) Church gets a bad rap. We are hypocrites, hateful, bigots, judgmental, close-minded, and closed off. With that description, I am surprised anyone enters the doors of any church. We seem surprised that the church is this way. However, this is nothing new. The Church has ebbed and flowed, good and bad, since the dawn of time. We have battled and argued and debated over what the Church should stand for and how the Church should behave for years. This is not a new concept.
So, what do we do?
There are a few things we as the people of the Church can recognize and change in order to bring healing: healing within the Church, healing for the people of the Church, and healing for those outside the church.
First, we need to recognize that we are overcommitted. We are so busy with life. Life is our idol and we are its worshippers. Busyness is an accolade. If we could get an award for busyness, we would all have a trophy case full. Because of our worship of busy, we lose sight of people. People become a secondary concern. Our schedules are number one and we could not imagine life outside of running on empty. No longer do our schedules permit time for people. Showing love and serving one another is pushed out and soccer practice and running through the drive-thru sneak in and take its place. Busyness is our god and we are bowing down.
Second, we are distracted. We are looking here, there, and everywhere our eyes fixed on agendas and talking points rather than Scripture and loving others. Our souls long for the latest controversies to hash out on Facebook instead of Jesus. We would rather argue and debate instead of meditating and rest. Our eyes are fixed on Fox News and CNN instead of the cross. The Enemy has stolen our gaze and we have fallen for it hook, line, and sinker.
Last, when we aren’t worshipping busyness or agendas, we are idolizing theology. We are so stuck in the law of it all that we lose the love. We cannot have the Bible without Jesus. The soul longs for love, for warmth, for artistry and poetry yet we cement our feet in the box of our theology. This limits God and our capacity to live arms-wide-open. We are so hyper-focused on theology that no one can understand our language. The doors are closed to the church of our lives because we seem cold and closed off. Theology is our god and rightness is our weapon.
It doesn’t have to be this way. The Church was never meant to be the focus. Jesus was. We have transfixed our eyes on the wrong prize and we are missing it. The Church is to reflect Jesus. Who is He? What does He stand for? Arms wide open. A place to return. Love. Comfort. Redemption. Undeserved but overwhelming grace. Unconditional love. Acceptance. Return. Joy. We need to get back to this space. We need to get back to Jesus.
Just like Adam and Eve in the garden, we have fallen for the trap of deception. We have taken a bite of the apple and didn’t even realize we have been deceived. The Church has become something it was never meant to be. Yet, there is still hope. There is always hope.
We need to change our gaze. We must fix our eyes on Jesus and move from that space. He is our core, our focus, where we place our admiration. Not on busyness. Not on the latest debate. Not even on theology.
We can see that even the Pharisees, the religious leaders of Jesus’ day, misplaced their focus. They were hyper-focused on law, rules, and theology, on the debate of their day that they sent the Savior to a brutal death. We are no different than them. However, we can learn from their example. We don’t have to live this way. The Church can be everything it was created to be: loving, kind, open.
The Church was created to enable people to meet Love, Compassion, Relief, Hope, Grace, Kindness, Life. A place to meet Jesus. Let’s get back to this. Let’s refocus our gaze.
Let’s get back to Jesus.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
