Choices
Faith and choices. It’s messy. We need help. Lots of help. We need to know how to forgive ourselves of past choices while preparing our hearts for future ones. Reflection. When you look in the mirror, what do you see? What do you say? How …
Finding Faith in the Mess
I pinned plans and pictures of farmhouse tables to my Pinterest board. It was time for us to get a new table and I had the perfect one pictured in my head. The table we had was getting a little small and a little worn …
I was sitting at Starbucks typing away and doing some research when a party of four sat down next to me. It was crowded and the tables were close. The two couples chatted about general life stuff for the first ten minutes or so. Yes, I was eves-dropping. Like I said, they were sitting VERY close. The conversation then turned serious. One of the men needed to talk through some junk that was happening at their church. He began expressing concern about how the church was using their finances and how the pastoral staff was leading the congregation. The discussion continued and I had to leave. I didn’t hear how they handled their issues or if they came to any resolution. I’ve heard many church conversations before: the church hurt someone, ignored someone, back-stabbed another, didn’t meet the needs for a particular person, and so on. This little church debate in Starbucks got my mind spinning: What is the role of the church anyway?
I first went to church with a friend in high school. My parents were not church-goers so it was just me. I invited my dad to join me once and warned him about the weird hand raising that occurred during worship. I was worried he’d think I was part of some strange cult and yank me out of there. Thankfully, he wasn’t as weirded out as I thought he’d be. He stayed and eventually found his own hand-raising church.
Church can be weird. Church can be messy and ugly full of feelings of disgust and hate. Church can bring out the very best and the very worst in people. Church unites and divides. Church breaks us down and builds us up. Church can be very powerful yet ineffective; prideful yet humble. Church can alienate. Church can help someone feel like they are finally loved. Church is many things to many people.
What was the intention behind church? Did God create church? What was His vision?
“So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.
“Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.” Ephesians 4:11-16 (emphasis mine)
If I look into God’s Word and study His vision for fellowship and His church, I see a place where people are nurtured and loved in such a way that they radiate the light of Jesus. Church is not a denomination. Church is not a building. Church is not a set of rules that will get you into Heaven. Church is not an experience. Church is a place where people come together in all their mess united for Christ purposefully building one another up in love for the Kingdom.
There are ideologies out there that require rituals in order to gain Christ’s acceptance and church membership. Some churches create by-laws for by-laws that must be followed or you’re out. Some places of worship close their doors on those that are different, dirty, poor, addicted, royally messed up. This is not church.
Our churches are being led by worn-out underpaid servants who love so deeply they have a tendency to run themselves into the ground for the betterment of the congregation. The same people tend to volunteer week after week. Mercy and grace are needed and deserved, but rarely felt. We know deep down that our souls long for something like church, but we don’t know how to let go and get to that place. Walking into a building in which vulnerability is almost a requirement frightens us. But, it is so needed. We were created for connection.
Don’t give up on church. God knew we’d need each other, thus, He created the church. Let’s not forsake the art of gathering with one another to learn from each other, challenge one another, forgive first, give grace no matter what, be kind, and give rest. Let us create a space where vulnerability is celebrated and not scary; where love and grace are endless. Unity does not mean sameness. It means power in the differences. Let’s bring our differences to the one place they have the most value: church and build His kingdom on Earth as it is in Heaven. Amen.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
FLASHBACK POST: …a continuation of my series on miscarriage. This entry is vulnerable, real, and raw. The dead of night is always the hardest when you are going through something tough. It is when you are completely alone in your feelings. I remember this night …
FLASHBACK POST: Lately, I have realized that I need to share what brought me into the blogging world: my story. My original blog (hello, MySpace) was a place where I recorded milestones and triumphs of our first born and our adventures in a new town. …
In Discerning the Voice of God, Priscilla Shirer talks about how we can be functional lepers. She gave some background to leprosy explaining that the disease can lay dormant for years without anyone knowing you have it. The diseased individual knows he or she is sick, but the outside world is none the wiser. The leper continues about life diseased on the inside tricking the public that they are healthy based on their outsides. Thus, they are a functional leper.
Wow. Isn’t this us today? Shirer explained this terminology using verses in 2 Kings from the Old Testament. Many say the Old Testament, even the entirety of the Bible, is outdated and not applicable to today’s culture. I look at functional leprosy and see it running rampant through our culture.
Anyone can scroll through the beautiful pictures on Instagram and witness functional leprosy. Pictures of beautiful homes, love stories displayed through perfectly lighted selfies of the couple, and kids flawlessly poised in polos and Matilda Jane dresses. Behind those images, however, can lie financial burdens, marital pains, and unruly children. We all know it’s there. Yet, we would rather see the immaculate pictures rather than acknowledge the brokenness.
As I pondered this term, I wondered if it is even possible to be a functional leper. If there is disease on the inside, it most definitely effects our outsides. There is no way it can’t. We may have convinced ourselves that we’ve hid our illness well, but when we step back and look at our lives, we can see how it has invaded every space.
There is no healthy functioning when there is disease within. Oftentimes, we believe we will get well the moment our circumstances change. What we don’t realize, is that we have to deal with the disease on the inside before the outside can see any healing.
In order to heal the diseased parts of our lives, we must first ask ourselves, Do we really want to hear from God? Because here is the deal: most of us would say we want to hear from Him but our actions show us running in the opposite direction.
We know what we need to do but are palms are sweaty and our hearts are racing and it all just seems too difficult so, we make the subconscious decision to live as a functional leper carrying the weight of our burdens instead of choosing to listen to God (even when it makes us feel like we are going to be sick) and heal from within.
Now is your time.
Stop pretending you are functioning when, in reality, you are dying on the inside.
God is speaking. He desires to heal you. Are you ready to listen? Are you ready to hear His truth?
Love & Blessings,
Meg
NOW GO LISTEN TO THIS SONG AND LAY IT DOWN!
One of the criminals who were hanged there was hurling abuse at Him, saying, “Are You not the Christ? Save Yourself and us!” But the other answered, and rebuking him said, “Do you not even fear God, since you are under the same sentence of …
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30
Your child comes tearing into the house tears streaming down his face. He fell. His knee is scraped. You wipe his tears, give him a hug, and find a spiderman bandaid to cover his ouchie. Healing an external wound is easy. There is nothing a bandaid and a mama’s kiss can’t heal after a fall. Internal wounds, well, those types of wounds are very different.
Wounds can run deep. We all are wounded at some point in our lives. Sometimes, we can heal and move on quickly. Other times, we carry these wounds with us for years.
There are many reasons we carry old wounds. Running from them seems easier sometimes. We like to bury our wounds in the depths of our souls thinking they won’t find us. But, we all know that eventually they do.
I have watched friends I care about and love dearly hold tightly to wounds they should no longer bear. They try to run and hide from the hurt losing sight of true healing. All too often, I watch them get sidetracked and distracted and all of a sudden find themselves on a road to healing the wrong wound.
We are carrying old wounds because we are trying to heal the wrong hurts.
Sometimes, a lot of the time, it is easier to run than take responsibility. We are scared. We are ashamed. We know we have to face these wounds but instead, all we want to do is look the other way. We mask them with other issues crying out to our village to help us. We don’t listen when those who love us reveal our hurts because we don’t want to hear it. We just can’t face it. But, let me say this, sometimes, the gift of confrontation is greater than the gift of comfort.
Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy. Proverbs 27:6
We try and run and hide our true wounds from our friends and thus, they have good intentions, only they end up helping us heal in the wrong area. We drink away our wounds or swallow a pill hoping and praying that brings us peace. Yet, we are still hurting; so desperate.
You can’t change what you won’t face.
We are too scared to face our wounds because we have a distorted view of God and his plan for us. We don’t trust him. We don’t rest in him. We don’t see him as our healer. We don’t rely on him. We think he is mad at us. We believe he will be angry with us and make us pay. All of this, every single bit, is a lie and the enemy would love nothing more than to keep you in this space.
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid John 14:27
It is time you break free.
God wants to heal your wounds. Yes, those very deep ones that are going to leave a nasty scar. Those are the ones that will bring you the greatest freedom when you finally let go. They are the wounds that will draw you the closest to your Healer when you finally face them.
What are you running from?
What wounds need healing?
He himself bore our sins in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed. 1 Peter 2:24
It is time to heal the right wounds releasing yourself to full freedom and healing in the One who heals. He is near. He wants to make you whole. It is time you let him.
Love & Blessings,
Meg