Flashback Friday: Ministry in the Mommyhood

Anyone struggle in the parenting realm? I wish I had the hand-raising emoji. I have a feeling we would all be raising our hands. Like any mom, I struggle in all the things motherhood. Just name a day of the week and I can tell you a struggle. We all struggle as moms. Even if we have our mom-game down, we still have our moments.

I could write a ten-page blog about all my struggles. But, for the sake of time, I will only chat about one. When I got pregnant with my first-born, I was getting my Masters degree. I thought I would work forever. I had always worked and liked the feeling of contributing to society and financially to our home. I remember talking to a friend when I was about seven months pregnant. He told me I was going to want to quit after I had the baby. In that moment, I knew for certain he was wrong. And then, my baby was born.

I had quite a bit of time off with the way my schedule landed, so I didn’t go back to work until he was five months old. I was dreading it (as any mom does), but thought I would adapt just fine. Wrong. I was a hot mess. I hit two parked cars on two separate days in all my emotional frenzy. I would cry almost every day. It was horrible. My husband finally told me that we couldn’t do this anymore and that something needed to change. So, I quit my job and we moved to Texas.

I remember the relief I felt when I knew the only focus I had was my son. I felt like a million pounds had been lifted. I had no idea what I was in for with the new title of “Stay-at-home” mom. I had wonderful people around me giving me really good advice but I needed to live it.

Everything was going good in my new role, not without struggles, but good with one exception: feeling valuable.

In case you didn’t know, motherhood doesn’t pay. Well, not in the traditional form of a paycheck. I knew and valued success partly by my paycheck and partly through how my students responded to my teaching. Every time I finished some credits for my Masters, I ticked up on the pay scale. That felt good. When my kindergartners left at the end of the year reading when they came to me not speaking a lick of English, I felt accomplished. When my sixth graders started believing in themselves when no one else did because of what we were doing in class, I felt a tinge of pride.

Now, I found myself at home with a kiddo who couldn’t tell me I was doing a good job and didn’t have the means to pay me. My husband would leave everyday to his job where he was praised for his wins and successes. He paid all the bills and I spent all the money. His money.

What I didn’t realize in those early years, and still struggle with today, is that motherhood IS a ministry. Just like any other job title, motherhood IS valuable. Without mothers, our world would collapse. I believe this with all my heart.

We are told all the time that motherhood is the hardest job on the planet. We are told that without us mamas, all would be lost. And I completely agree. But, it is hard to live feeling valued when your toddler is mad at you because you gave him lunch on the wrong plate. Or, you cannot, for the life of you, keep up with all the laundry. The toys are strewn all over the playroom spilling into the hallway. Shoes are on the stairs. There are clothes in heaps in strange places as if your kid evaporated. You feel ragged, worn-out, worn-down, and useless. Let me free you from the anxiety of trying to keep it all together: our value doesn’t lie in this space.

Motherhood is an explainable conundrum. You do a million and one things during the day to serve these petite humans with no thank you, no paycheck, no good job, or gold star. Most days, you seem to go unnoticed. Yet, that does not decrease your value.

Our value does not lie in a paycheck. It doesn’t come in a compliment. We don’t lose our value when we don’t get all the chores done or the house is a disaster. Our ministry in the mommyhood is powered by sweet little hands around our necks giving us a hug. Our value is felt in sloppy baby kisses and goodnight stares while rocking them to sleep. It comes when your kindergarten brings home their first writing and it is about their mommy. Ministry in the mommyhood is felt when your middle schooler still wants you to walk him out to the bus and wants you to hear about their day and your grown child calls for advice. This is our payment.

We place value on things that don’t matter like mommyhood does. We forget to see that the daily trenches of motherhood are our ministry and we aren’t paid because no amount of money could come close to paying us our worth.

I am standing beside you on these mommyhood front lines telling you, telling me, that we are valuable. Our ministry: the laundry, the cleaning, the cleaning again, and again, the homework battles, the diaper changes, the cooking and feeding and cooking and feeding, the boo boo kissing, the tear wiping, the Lego and Barbie playing ALL MATTERS. EVERY. SINGLE. BIT.

The ministry of the mommyhood is one of the most treasured and valuable things on earth. Don’t ever question your worth for you are far more precious than diamonds.

Love & Blessings,
Meg