There’s a Band-aid for That
My baby is turning 9 in a month. My oldest is turning 13. If I could insert a gasp emoji, I would post a million. Time is a thief. Life goes by in a flash.
One day (sooner rather then later), these boys will grow up and move out creating a life of their own. While this excites me, it also breaks my heart a little.
This past weekend, our youngest commandeered my iPad. The night before I was to fly out, he told me he didn’t feel well. I knew he was fine. He was just missing mommy already. So, I told him he could text or FaceTime me anytime he wanted. Little did I know, I would receive FaceTime calls from the potty. He definitely took advantage of having full access to me anytime he wanted or felt sad. It was hilarious most of the time. And, if I’m being honest, this mama heart of mine loved it; every second of it.
The iPad extravaganza reminded me how much I love to be needed by my boys. I remember having a conversation with my husband not too long ago about how these kids weren’t going to need me anymore. It made me sad. My whole life is dedicated to those boys. What ever was I going to do with myself when they didn’t need me anymore?
My job isn’t to keep them needing me forever. My job is to love and release them.
It’s easy for us as mamas (dads, too) to desire a happy life for our kids. We don’t want them to hurt and I get that. I remember a recent conversation with my middle-schooler that ushered in all the feelings. He told me what was happening and my heart had a flash back. All the emotions from when I experienced a similar situation rushed in and I didn’t want him to feel it. But he did. Because he needed to.
We want to keep our kids from hurting and suffering, so we plow the road before them making it smooth. We think we are keeping them from harm. But, what we are really doing is preventing them from learning how to cope harming them deeper then if we allowed them to work through the pain in the first place.
Our kids are going to fall and get banged up. And you know what? There’s a band-aid for that.
Jesus was on this earth for a short 30+ years. He didn’t stick around to hold the hands of his disciples. In actuality, he said it was better for him to go (John 16:7) Jesus, if anything, paved a rough road for his friends. He was crucified, for goodness sake. But, he knew it was better if he let go and let them fly.
Jesus left so his friends could flourish trusting the training they received under his guidance and care. The same holds true for us, parents.
Train them up and let them fly. (Proverbs 22:6)
Parenthood is tough. Letting go of them? That’s even tougher. But, it’s what we are supposed to do.
Give them space to fail. And watch them shine when they get back up.
Let them be rejected. And watch their creativity and tenacity flow as they prove themselves again.
Allow their heart to break. And watch them become strong, yet empathetic, humans.
Let them scrape their knee. There’s a band-aid and kisses for that.
Our kids need to feel, need to fail, and need to hurt. Taking this from them is one of the greatest travesties of our generation as parents. We are robbing our kids of an opportunity to grow, strengthen, build their character, empathize, believe in themselves, build the fight within their spirit, empathy for others, and so much more.
Jesus knew leaving his disciples would change the world. He knew his absence would make them stronger. He knew the only way his kingdom would grow is if he let them go.
Let them go. Trust in your parenting. Trust in your kid. And trust in your God. He’s got them. And when they fall and get hurt, know that there is a band-aid for that.
Love & Blessings,
Meg