Author: admin

Fill Your Feed

Fill Your Feed

Social media. I have a love/hate relationship with you. I love that you keep me connected with people: my family and friends from near and far currently and from the past. I love cheering on friends from the other side of the screen; excited for 

Anxiety Part Two: Cripling

Anxiety Part Two: Cripling

DISCLAIMER: I wrote this post five years ago. I cannot believe it has been five years since that eye-opening moment in my life. It was a very difficult season, but could not be more thankful that it happened. I truly believe we need to talk 

Anxiety Part One: Every Day

Anxiety Part One: Every Day

I wake-up every day afraid. Well, not exactly. I don’t jolt out of bed in fear every morning. I do, however, battle all the things, all the feelings, with each day that comes my way.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. Philippians 4:6

There are three things I remember fearing as a child: thunderstorms (I grew up in Southern California where it rarely rains), roller coasters, and being snatched from my bed at night. Do you remember the Night Stalker from the 80s. He was a serial killer that plagued Los Angeles. He would go into yellow houses and attack his victims. Well, the wall outside my window was yellow so now you can understand my last fear. Anyway, other than those three fears, I don’t remember dealing with fear or anxiety growing up. Even in my early adult years, I was a go-getter; not a risk-taker but I didn’t let many things stop me.

And then I had kids.

And moved to Tornado Alley.

I recall anxiety sneaking in slowly after I had our first son. All of a sudden, I was responsible for another human being. It was the most glorious, yet terrifying, thing I had ever experienced. This little person relied on me (and my husband) for everything. Not only that, now my life mattered more than ever.

When our oldest was about 15 months old, we moved to Texas. I knew the weather was a little crazy, but honestly, had no idea until our first spring. The storms did not completely scare me until our third or fourth spring here. I am not sure why it took that long, but I didn’t fear them until a bit after living here. Again, my fear was rooted in something bad happening to me, my husband, or my child and the wrath of pain left in its wake.

Irrational fear. 

I deal with it.

My mind goes there.

Yet, God tells me to be anxious for nothing.

Easier said than done, right?!? Philippians 4:6 and the other 365 verses regarding fear are stabilizing to my soul and helpful. But, I am still human and fear and anxiety still creep in. I know I am not alone. I know there is a reader on the other side of the screen who is nodding along with me. This world brings fear. It’s what we do with that anxiety that matters.

If God designed us, then we must conclude that He wired us with emotion: even fear and anxiety. Fear can be healthy. The Bible talks about having a healthy fear of God. Fear keeps us from doing dangerous things. Fear has a place in our lives. But, fear does not get to own us. 

There are a few things I do to overcome my fear and anxiety. The first thing is I have decided that it will not own me. I may allow it to take over in the moment, but after prayer and talking through my irrational thoughts with a trusted friend or my husband, I exhale. The second thing is that I told my village. I did not let the fear and anxiety consume me by keeping it all inside. I think fear, anxiety, depression, and the like bring with it the label of shame. That needs to stop. This is why I am sharing my journey. There is no shame in this. Only grace. And we need our people to walk alongside us carrying us through our valley moments.

Let me say this, your people may not understand your pain. And that’s okay.  They don’t need to understand what you are going through or what you are feeling in order to be there for you. Oftentimes, we cannot explain why we are afraid or feeling anxious. You don’t have to.  All you need to do is communicate that you need them; you need their love, comfort, and support as you wrestle with your junk.

The last thing I turn to, and this may seem obvious, is God. I don’t hide from Him. I don’t try to sweep my issues under the rug. I am blatantly honest with Him. He can take it and he built me this way. I look at my anxiety as my “thorn in my side” as Paul talks about in 2 Corinthians 12: 6-8. Paul talks about how the Lord allowed something to “torment” him to keep him humble and close to God. He begged God to take it away, yet, it remained. My anxiety keeps me near the Lord and I am okay with that. Once I accepted that this was a thing I was going to deal with over my lifetime, I was able to attack it that much more. I learned how to lean in instead of retreat and succumb to my irrational thoughts. Is it easy? Absolutely not. Do I fail? Of course. But, I rest in knowing that in the end, I will be okay because I have my God and my tribe.

Anxiety does not have to rule over you. It is something you deal with not your identity. There is no shame in admitting weakness. Only grace. Speaking your inadequacies aloud opens the door to letting God in. You are not alone on this journey. Speak about it. Talk to God. Be vulnerable, real, and honest. He can take it. Rally your troops and get your village around you. Don’t expect them to understand. Just ask them to be there. They will. I promise.

There is a reason God allowed 365 verses about fear to be in the Bible. Meditate in that space. Remind yourself that He knows and He cares. Don’t get caught up in Him removing this “thorn in your side.” Instead, lean into Him when it starts to ache. He will meet you in that space. I am praying for you…and for me. Freedom awaits us. It is found in Him.

Love & Blessings,

Meg

FLASHBACK FRIDAY: THE PRETEEN YEARS

FLASHBACK FRIDAY: THE PRETEEN YEARS

He was sitting at the counter, his dad beside him. It was early; before 7am. They were working through some last minute math homework. Never-mind the fact that he had ALL weekend to complete his assignment. Who am I kidding? I would have put off 

AND/OR

AND/OR

You know what I like? When I get on Facebook and one of those silly links becomes popular and my entire feed is filled with “What will you look like as a super model?” or “What will you look like in old age?” It’s a 

Blind

Blind

There is a story in the Bible found in the Book of John that tells the story of a blind man. The man was blind his entire life. He has an encounter with Jesus and ends up healed and given the gift of sight. This is the story where Jesus rubs mud on the man’s eyes, tells him to wash them in the water. He washes his eyes and realizes his sight is restored.

The story doesn’t end there. The entire time Jesus is talking with the blind man, the Pharisees are hounding him about why he is blind. In that time and that culture, things like blindness meant you or your family had some type of sin in your life. If you had some sort of physical ailment, you must also have sin. The illness or disability was punishment for you or your family’s sin. So, when Jesus rolls up and starts talking about this man’s blindness being caused by something spiritual, the Pharisees lost their marbles.

The blind man gained his sight because he began to believe in the Savior. The moment he enacted his faith was the moment he regained his sight. His healing had nothing to do with mud and water and everything to do with Jesus. The Pharisees just could not wrap their minds around this. The blind man was encompassed by Jesus. He got it. The Pharisees, on the other hand, knew who Jesus was but remained blind to his true identity and power.

“It is possible for Jesus to be in our midst and for us to still have a Pharisee heart.” Lysa TerKeurst

Lysa TerKeurst says that we can know Jesus yet remain blind. The Pharisees absolutely knew who Jesus was. They witnessed his miracles and teachings. Yet, they continued to live for their rules and not in faith in Jesus. We, too, can live in this space. We know Jesus. We are totally aware of who he is and what he has done. Yet, our hearts are not connected to what our brain knows. We remain weary, skeptical, and closed. The rules feel like a safer place to reside so we stay there instead of taking the leap of faith towards a Savior.

The blind man gained sight before he washed the mud off of his eyes. He saw before his eyes were 20/20. The Pharisees, however, could not bring themselves to seeing. Their vision was hyper-focused on the Law and what they had convinced themselves to be true instead of the Truth. God desires us to rub the mud off of our eyes. In order to see, we must act. We must walk over to that water and wash the mud off of our eyes. Are you ready to do that today?

Walking down the street, Jesus saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked, “Rabbi, who sinned: this man or his parents, causing him to be born blind?” Jesus said, “You’re asking the wrong question. You’re looking for someone to blame. There is no such cause-effect here. Look instead for what God can do. We need to be energetically at work for the One who sent me here, working while the sun shines. When night falls, the workday is over. For as long as I am in the world, there is plenty of light. I am the world’s Light.” He said this and then spit in the dust, made a clay paste with the saliva, rubbed the paste on the blind man’s eyes, and said, “Go, wash at the Pool of Siloam” (Siloam means “Sent”). The man went and washed—and saw. Soon the town was buzzing. His relatives and those who year after year had seen him as a blind man begging were saying, “Why, isn’t this the man we knew, who sat here and begged?” Others said, “It’s him all right!” But others objected, “It’s not the same man at all. It just looks like him.” He said, “It’s me, the very one.” They said, “How did your eyes get opened?  A man named Jesus made a paste and rubbed it on my eyes and told me, ‘Go to Siloam and wash.’ I did what he said. When I washed, I saw.” “So where is he?” “I don’t know.” John 9:1-12

Jesus heard that they had thrown him out, and went and found him. He asked him, “Do you believe in the Son of Man?” The man said, “Point him out to me, sir, so that I can believe in him.” Jesus said, “You’re looking right at him. Don’t you recognize my voice?” “Master, I believe,” the man said, and worshiped him. Jesus then said, “I came into the world to bring everything into the clear light of day, making all the distinctions clear, so that those who have never seen will see, and those who have made a great pretense of seeing will be exposed as blind.” Some Pharisees overheard him and said, “Does that mean you’re calling us blind?” Jesus said, “If you were really blind, you would be blameless, but since you claim to see everything so well, you’re accountable for every fault and failure.” John 9:35-41

Love & Blessings,

Meg

Flashback Friday: Beauty in the Thicket

Flashback Friday: Beauty in the Thicket

**DISCLAIMER: I wrote this post last winter as we transitioned to spring. This winter has been colder and we have definitely had more cloudy days lately than sunshine. However, it is still fitting to talk about finding beauty in the dreary as we endure the 

Get Out of the Way

Get Out of the Way

Are we getting in the way of the Church? If you study any type of church history, you will find that it is and has always been messy. People are involved. People are complicated. If people are complicated and people are what make up the 

Pointing Fingers

Pointing Fingers

Have you ever gotten out of bed in the morning, walked into the bathroom, quickly looked at your reflection as you passed by, and gasped because you didn’t recognize the person staring back at you? Or, you flip to your camera app on your phone only to see that it’s on selfie mode and you are startled by the reflection. Me too.

Sometimes, I look in that mirror and I like what I see. I’m having a good hair day. My make-up is on point. There is a lot to be said about a little mascara, bronzer, and lip gloss. Other days, I look at that reflection and wonder how on earth I survived the day without scaring anyone, I look so disheveled. I don’t particularly like my reflection on those days.

It seems a lot of us don’t like looking at our reflections. We much prefer the blame game and finger pointing. We have convinced ourselves that this is something that children do, but, it happens at every age and stage. Politicians. Moms. Dads. Friends. Siblings. Kids. We point that finger so often we don’t even notice we are doing it anymore.

What if we took responsibility for ourselves taking action to change from within in order to make our little corner of the world better instead of pointing fingers?

Jesus did this. He was the master of this. In John chapter four, Jesus encounters a woman at the well. They both went there to gather water. Yet, that wasn’t the true intent of the meeting. I will include the verses of this story below. For now, I will give you the summary. The woman was Samaritan. Jesus was Jewish. Those two groups did not mingle way back when. She was also living with a man unmarried. This, after being married multiple times before. She was at that well at that time because she was shunned by her community and most likely could not collect water when the rest of the town was there. Jesus was “passing through” on his journey. But, when researching the story, we know he was purposeful meeting her there.

Jesus asks the woman for water because he is thirsty. They have an exchange about how she was looking everywhere to quench her “thirst”, when, in actuality, the “Living Water” (Jesus) was right there. She ends up realizing Jesus must be the Messiah everyone was talking about and ended up telling her whole town about her experience. She is touted as the first missionary.

While there are many layers to this story, there is one particular detail that pastors, teachers, and commentators don’t mention: Jesus never got his water. He came to the well declaring his thirst, yet he never received his water. He asked the Samaritan woman for a drink, but never relieved his thirst.

Jesus could have pointed the finger at the woman. He could have laid into her for her sin and the fact that she never gave him what he initially asked for. He could have blamed her for his thirst. But, he didn’t. Instead, he gave this woman life. While he was empty (have you ever been thirsty), he decided to fill someone else knowing she needed this “water” more desperately than he needed his thirst satisfied.

What if, we laid down our finger pointing and picked up that jug of water in order to fill the person that frustrates us so much? What if we stopped blaming others for all their wrongs, our wrongs, everybody’s wrongs and decided we are truly going to be a part of the solution rather than inflating the problem?

Jesus was running on empty. He had just traveled in the heat and was tired. Up walks a woman full of sin. He could have picked up his finger and started pointing. It would have been easy. Yet, he didn’t. Instead, he gave this woman life. And because he gave her life, she went to her town and life spread like wild fire.

How can we look at the reflection today?

How can we take ownership for ourselves?

How can we decide today is the day we are going to give life to others?

That reflection looking back at you is not scary. It is empowering. All that hurt, anger, and frustration you see in those eyes staring back at you can be transformed into grace, love, and mercy. Now that’s powerful. Much more powerful than pointing fingers.

Love & Blessings,

Meg

Now Jesus learned that the Pharisees had heard that he was gaining and baptizing more disciples than John although in fact it was not Jesus who baptized, but his disciples. So he left Judea and went back once more to Galilee. Now he had to go through Samaria.  So he came to a town in Samaria called Sychar, near the plot of ground Jacob had given to his son Joseph. Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about noon. When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?”  (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)  The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.) Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.” “Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water?  Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his livestock?” Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.” He told her, “Go, call your husband and come back.” “I have no husband,” she replied. Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.” “Sir,” the woman said, “I can see that you are a prophet.  Our ancestors worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews claim that the place where we must worship is in Jerusalem.” “Woman,” Jesus replied, “believe me, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem.  You Samaritans worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the Jews.  Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks.  God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.” The woman said, “I know that Messiah” (called Christ) “is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.”  Then Jesus declared, “I, the one speaking to you—I am he.” John 4:1-26; emphasis mine)

Flashback Friday: Ministry in the Mommyhood

Flashback Friday: Ministry in the Mommyhood

Anyone struggle in the parenting realm? I wish I had the hand-raising emoji. I have a feeling we would all be raising our hands. Like any mom, I struggle in all the things motherhood. Just name a day of the week and I can tell