When God says, “Lay it Down”
We all have a word. Maybe you don’t have a word. Instead, you have a thought, a goal, or a dream. You might not be a New Year’s resolution type, but we all want more for our lives. My word for 2018 is expectant. I …
Tag: control
Let Them GO
I bawled my eyes out pulling away after dropping my babies off at sleep-away camp. I couldn’t wait to get to FaceTime my oldest while he was on his missions trip. The fish died and I couldn’t resurrect him. On the first day of school. …
Sovereign
God is sovereign.
Us Christians like this expression even though most of us cannot define what it means. When good things happen we proclaim, “God is sovereign.” But, what does that mean exactly?
Dictionary.com holds the meaning of sovereign as follows:
noun
-
a supreme ruler, especially a monarch.
adjective
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possessing supreme or ultimate power.“in modern democracies the people’s will is in theory sovereign”
Sounds pretty extreme, doesn’t it? Supreme ruler. Ultimate power. Whoa. What’s up dictatorship? For me, understanding God’s sovereignty didn’t exist in a definition. Comprehending God’s sovereignty was found, for me, in living my life.
I have been a Christian since I was fourteen. I have heard that God is sovereign countless times over the years. I never fully understood what that meant until recently. And boy, how that understanding has changed my faith and my prayer life.
My two youngest boys went to sleep away camp for a week. My husband traveled for work that same week. We had contractors in and out, a dog that was a hot mess with health issues, and numerous other stresses that same week. Every time I felt that knot in my throat like I was either going to cry or throw up, I prayed. My prayer was simple.
“God, You are sovereign.”
That was it. I would repeat that over and over again. By proclaiming His sovereignty, I am relinquishing control to Him. No longer am I trying to carry a load I wasn’t meant to bear.
God’s sovereignty is not found in His desire for world domination. It is also not found in His desire for complete control. God’s sovereignty is rooted in trust: our trust that His desire for us is better than anything we can imagine. Our realization that He is good and that He can be trusted is the definition of His sovereignty. Knowing that all things (even the unpleasant) are worked together for good is equivalent to understanding God’s sovereignty.
His sovereignty is rooted in love and grace. Knowing this extends our ability to trust in Him even when life feels like it is falling apart. I found the true definition of God’s sovereignty when I allowed Him to take care of the things I thought I had control over.
When I look back on my life, I can see how God’s fingerprint is all over it. Everything, even the hard stuff, has come together in a beautiful story that I am proud to be living. He is trustworthy. And, because He is trustworthy, He is sovereign.
He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. Colossians 1:17
Love & Blessings,
Meg
Summer Dreams
My childhood summers were spent in Southern California. We spent our days barefoot and outside. We didn’t come inside until we heard our moms yelling our names or the street lights came on. We explored, ran around in the street of our cul-de-sac, and road …
Thorny People
If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith …
On My Knees
FLASHBACK POST:
Lately, I have realized that I need to share what brought me into the blogging world: my story. My original blog (hello, MySpace) was a place where I recorded milestones and triumphs of our first born and our adventures in a new town. And then it happened: miscarriage. I felt trapped. I needed an outlet and that became writing and sharing my story. I have read and heard three stories of miscarriage this week. At the same time, I was able to celebrate the announcement of a healthy pregnancy of a friend who has been trying for 12 years. It’s time I revisit my story. Not to hurt again or throw it in the face of others that my story worked out. But instead, to unify us through our stories; to empower us and heal us by sharing the deepest of our hurts. I do not have answers to your questions of “why.” What I do have is hope. I always had hope even in my darkest times because I had Jesus. I hope this week helps you feel less alone and fills you with hope and peace in the midst of your despair. I am praying for you and loving on you even though I may not know your name. So is He and He does know your name. Rest in that.
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“I realized I wanted to see the whole body moving instead of just doing my part. I wanted to know the ins and outs of what I was affecting, and a little diagram of potential issues headed my way would be awesome. I wanted the scientist’s view. I wasn’t given that, and it wasn’t by accident.” Angie Smith
I was on my knees in Grady’s room crying harder than I probably ever have begging our great Lord for my precious boy. You see, I had been through two miscarriages, one being at the end of the first trimester with a baby that had Downs. Grady’s room sat empty and I desperately wanted it filled. I knew deep down in my heart that Jackson was meant to be a big brother and not an only child but after the way things were going, that looked bleak. I begged and cried and begged some more. I am sure I promised God the moon too. God did eventually bless us with Grady and then blew our socks off with Wyatt; our bonus baby that we weren’t planning on but now know we needed him to complete our family.
At the moment of my despair as I was crying over two lost pregnancies and desiring a sibling for Jack, I wish I could have had that diagram Angie talks about. I want to know what’s around the corner and that my prayers have meaning and an effect. Even though I believe with all of my heart and my very being that God absolutely heard me that day on my knees in Grady’s room, I do not think my begging, crying, and promising my everything gave me Grady. I know God designed my family well before I even knew who He was. Wyatt taught me this. Scott and I were done having kids after Grady. Literally, a month after having the conversation that two boys was plenty, I got pregnant. This, after all the issues I had trying to have Grady. God knew. He had our family perfectly designed regardless of my plans or prayers. His will.
My friend and I are doing a book study of Angie Smith’s, Chasing God. The chapter we just went through was on prayer. We had an incredible conversation about how all the begging in the world will not change God’s mind. That was a blow to Michelle and I. Not because we think we are all powerful and want to control God. No. We want to know that our prayers matter. And you know what? They do. Prayer brings us closer to the one who Created us. Prayers give us peace and hope, joy and comfort. God has a design, a perfect will, for our lives where everything is working together to create a perfect and beautiful story for our lives. Prayer connects us to that story.
“Delight yourselves in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4
For years I misunderstood Psalm 37:4. I thought if I walked with the Lord and lived for Him He would give me what I desired. I have a different perspective on this verse now. I believe that as I grow closer to God my desires become His desires. I feel the same way with prayer. Jesus even prayed to the Father about how he really felt about the dying on the cross BUT he didn’t stop there. He prayed that the Father’s WILL be done. Not Jesus’ desires but the Father’s will. I believe whole-heartedly that God brings specific people in our lives to prayer over us. I also believe He fills our hearts with desires and what to pray. Do I think He controls us? Absolutely not. He gave us free will for a reason. He did, however, give us the Holy Spirit to guide us in our lives and that’s exactly what I believe happens in our prayers. The Holy Spirit is present and active when we pray.
So, what now? What does this mean for my prayer life? Angie Smith says this, “What I have been given is the ability to take in and give out. I don’t really understand the way it distributes itself throughout the body, or how it comes back to me, but it doesn’t keep me from doing what He made be to do. And it doesn’t make me insignificant. It just means I’m not always in a position to see or feel my significance, so I choose to defer to the One who does.” <i>Chasing God</i>
I will pray and believe great and mighty things from a great and mighty God. I will tap into the power of the Holy Spirit when I pray. I will ask God to transform my desires to His because they are better anyway (Wyatt is a prime example of His plan being better than mine). I will pray to grow closer to Him and commune with Him. I will walk along the way and talk with Him through my prayers about silly stuff. And I will continue praying miracle prayers as I am doing for someone I love right now. He places burdens on our heart to pray for, don’t ignore it. Instead, pray believing doing your part, my part, and letting Him worry about His.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
Pre-Packaged Jesus
Jesus isn’t prepackaged. He doesn’t fit into one of those pre-made dinners we all love to grab when we are in a hurry. He doesn’t fit into our agenda. He was never meant to. If Jesus isn’t making you a little uncomfortable, if you aren’t …
Switch
Do you remember that State Farm commercial where they asked us what life would be like if nothing went wrong? They showed cars driving every which way through the intersection and kids riding their bikes through traffic. The point was that this is not reality and ultimately, we need to buy their insurance. In his book, Kill the Spider, Carlos Whittaker talks about the State Farm commercial in relation to our relationship with Jesus.
He says, “Unfortunately, this is what we expect to get when we say yes to Jesus. And although it may feel like this for a hot minute, this isn’t truth-at least not this side of Heaven. It won’t ever be true, but man do we want it to be true. So often we come out on the other side of a tragedy completely giving up on God because our feelings do not match our dreams. But this unraveling of truth, although gut-wrenching and terrifying, is the beginning of getting to real truth-a truth that doesn’t depend on your feelings and that will allow you to face your spider with strength, not fight it with a nerf gun.”
Many of us are led to believe or convince ourselves that the moment we believe in Jesus is the moment everything will be rectified. We think that when we invite Jesus into our lives we will have full understanding of this faith thing; like a light switch flips on and we are all-knowing and completely healed.
This is not truth.
When we are new to the faith, we think believing in Jesus is it. We did our deed and life should be void of trials, tribulations, challenges, and pain. Believing in Jesus becomes our destination instead of the beginning of our journey.
Crossing the line of faith is not just a flip of a switch. It is the pop of a gun at the starting line. You just entered the race.
We give up on God far too easily because we believe in the switch instead of the race.
Our destination is not here on earth. Our finish line lands us in Heaven and hopefully out of breath. Finding Jesus is just the beginning of the exquisite, beautiful, messy mingling of life and faith.
I wish we could all enter the intersection without fear of an accident. But, as it turns out, we still need insurance. Our insurance, thankfully, doesn’t lie here on earth but in Jesus. He will be with us when we feel like we are stalled in the intersection with cars coming at us from every direction. He sustains us when we lose the stamina to get to the finish line. And he will meet us when we cross through that ribbon out of breath on our final day. We just need to trust him.
Faith isn’t just a switch that can be flipped. It’s the most beautiful, yet intense, adventure EVER. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.… Hebrews 12:1-2
Love & Blessings,
Meg
Muddy Shoes
I didn’t want to tell this story. It seems a little cliche to write about how God showed up in a traumatic event. It’s like when a message is given at church and then we sing that perfect tear-jerker song after that message. It just …