Lightning
They say lightning doesn’t strike the same place twice. I say, it may not, but it sure can strike an inch to the right of the original location. Do you ever think you got through a trial never to see that circumstance again? Surely God …
Author: admin
Flashback Friday: Our Miracle
Flashback Post: A Continuation of the Miscarriage Series I wrote this post when I was twelve weeks pregnant with our middle son. At this point, I had had two miscarriages. I also thought I lost him. I had some complications at 12 weeks that lasted …
Lightning, Thunderstorms, oh…Revelation???
FLASHBACK POST: …a continuation of my series on miscarriage.
This entry is vulnerable, real, and raw. The dead of night is always the hardest when you are going through something tough. It is when you are completely alone in your feelings. I remember this night like it was yesterday. While it was difficult, it was also so very sweet. The time I had with the Lord during this trial is something I envy now. I wanted you, dear reader, to know that in the dead of night when it hurts so deep you don’t think you will pull out of it, you are not alone.
————————————————————–
I went to bed last night defeated. I wept myself to sleep praying to God. I am overwhelmed. I don’t know what to say or pray. I begin asking God the “why’s.” Why am I still going through the physical aspects of a miscarriage? It’s been almost a month. Why was my uncle taken so quickly from my aunt and his children? They were supposed to grow old traveling together and enjoying one another. Why are my best friends being put through the trial of their life with no answers? Why does their sweet baby boy who is a perfect angel have to endure this? Why are our friends in California enduring a trial that has lasted more than two years? Why God? Why? To top it all off, I was exhausted and Jackson would not go down. Scott and I tried for over two hours to get the little guy down but he would cry so hard he made himself sick. So, he ended up in our bed. Although this usually is a blessing, I know I am not going to get the much needed rest I longed for because I would have toddler toes stuck in my ribs all night. I did, however, finally fall asleep around midnight.
Two hours later I was awakened by one of our loudest thunderstorms yet. With lightning flashing all around illuminating our room and thunder booming viciously, I begin to sense God’s power. I have always had a fear of thunderstorms from the time I can remember. I don’t know why. My heart was racing at first, and then I was calmed. I realized that God is all powerful. He is in control. He showed me His power last night as the hail came plummeting down and the rain poured out of the clouds so fast that I thought the water was going to break through our roof. However, I was not afraid. I basked in God’s power.
I thought about all the trials that are in and around me. They reminded me of this storm; a violent turn in all our lives that we don’t understand. As the storm kept on ferociously I began to think about our trials and how excruciatingly painful they are; how bad they hurt. Like the storm, they twist and turn in us and seem like they are never going to end. Then, there is silence. The storm just stops. The house is quiet; still. “Be still and know that I am God.”(Psalm 46:10) He will quiet the storm. He always does even when it seems like it will never end. The clouds will roll back and the sun will shine. Our trials, too, will fade. And we will see His glory and sense that refreshing clean smell that comes after a good hard rain.
So, what did I learn. I learned that the storm is hard right now. But, even in the midst of the chaos of lightning flashes and thunder rolling, He is still near. He is powerful and shall overcome the burden(s) that are so deep. I fought having Jackson in our bed last night. I wanted to drown my sorrows in a meaningless TV show and then fall asleep. But God knew better. He knew that I’d want my baby next to me when the storm hit. He knew I’d be blessed at 2am to have my muchkin breathing sweetly in my ear as the thunder rolled. He knew. I fought. In the end He won and I was blessed. This is my revelation.
Love & Blessings,
Meg
On My Knees
FLASHBACK POST: Lately, I have realized that I need to share what brought me into the blogging world: my story. My original blog (hello, MySpace) was a place where I recorded milestones and triumphs of our first born and our adventures in a new town. …
My Whole Life. My Whole World.
FLASHBACK FRIDAY: A Post on Motherhood to Celebrate All The Mamas Out There Ten years ago my husband and I loaded everything we owned into a moving van. We strapped our 15-month old into his car seat and headed 3,000 miles east to plant new …
Pre-Packaged Jesus
Jesus isn’t prepackaged. He doesn’t fit into one of those pre-made dinners we all love to grab when we are in a hurry. He doesn’t fit into our agenda. He was never meant to. If Jesus isn’t making you a little uncomfortable, if you aren’t feeling like you have to wearily step out of the box you have built around yourself, then it may be time to check your relationship with Him.
We are a “ready made” culture. We see this heavily when it comes to food. Look, I LOVE food. So, whenever I get a chance to talk about food, you better believe I am going to jump on that gravy train. Everyone loves food. We are so lucky to live in an era where food is at our fingertips 24/7. It doesn’t take much effort for us to get our food these days. I just picked up my groceries this morning. I took about ten minutes on my Walmart app yesterday and ordered all the things. Then, this morning, I headed to the Walmart parking lot in my warm car (seat heaters on, of course) and had someone else load said groceries into my car. What is life? If this is all there is, I am down.
Everything fits in a nice neat box. Prepackaged and ready to eat. The only preparation is pulling back the lid and popping it in the microwave. Easy peasy. Sadly, this is where we try and place Jesus: in a prepackage box that has an easy open lid.
Jesus doesn’t fit into our prepackaged meals. He isn’t a cookie cutter one-size-fits-all deal. Jesus presses and pushes against the norm. He challenges the walls of our boxes and tears them down.
Jesus lives outside our boxes and wants us to live there, too. We like the confines of our prepackaged meals, though. It’s safe. We know what to expect. Anything else, frightens us and we run the other way.
Jump over those walls. Push past those barriers. Don’t hide or run when Jesus presses in and pushes you through. This is where growth and freedom happen; where reckless love and unrelenting grace reside.
Jesus didn’t come to this earth to be put in a box. He came to thrive in our hearts. Let Him blow up your box today.
“And that is why Jesus suffered outside the city gate, to sanctify the people by His own blood.” Hebrews 13:12
Love & Blessings,
Meg
Pass the Baton
Have you ever created something? A dream? A business? A group? A class? Some children? You put your heart and soul into your creation. Blood, sweat, and tears poured into one thing. Then, all of a sudden, you feel it. You feel that pit in …
40 Things I’ve Learned Now That I’m 40
Life truly is PRECIOUS 2. I WILL enjoy my people 3. I have made it through all the most difficult days thus far & survived 4. I’m a good mom 5. I’m a good wife 6. I have a lot of good to give this …
Flashback: Almost 40
FLASHBACK POST
I wrote this post a year ago when I turned 39. I have loved my thirties but I am ready to move on to the next chapter. I must say, I stuck to my mission for my year of 39: to be stronger and healthier mentally, physically, and spiritually than I have ever been, to free myself from all the things that chained me down, and to go after the dreams God has set within me. I am proud of myself (and you should be, too, when you succeed) for staying motivated and pushing through. It hasn’t always been easy but it has definitely been worth it!
**************************************************************************************************************
I turned 39 in May. My last year in my thirties. I have absolutely loved my thirties. I feel I have found myself here. I have learned what matters and what I can leave behind. I have discovered the true meaning of friendship and holding tight to that tribe that wants to be in my life. I have grown more deeply in love with my husband and enjoyed watching my boys come into their own. I am going to mourn my thirties when they finally pass. Not because I am fearful of aging. Rather, I am going to mourn that season that was so deep, so wide, and so good.
I am looking forward to my forties. I have friends who have crossed over and I am witnessing such freedom in their lives. I still long for that freedom in some areas. Just because I learned a great deal about myself in my thirties does not mean that I don’t have much to learn still. One thing I am learning is how to treat myself. For so long, my focus and emphasis on my physical health was how I looked on the outside. If I am thin enough on the exterior, than that must mean that I am healthy on the interior. What I have found is, this is not true.
I took my boxing gloves and wraps off and threw them on the ground. I was beat down from an extraordinary workout on the bag and still reeling in leg pain from my workout the day before. But, my workout was not over. I was only halfway done. I still had push-ups with my feet on the ball, battle ropes, up-downs in plank, and step-up repeaters. I thought I may die (or throw-up), but I persevered and pushed through. I didn’t do this because I think I am tough. Quite the opposite, actually. I am weak.
‘But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.’
2 Corinthians 9-10
When I looked down at my gloves on the floor, I wanted to quit. I had gotten a good workout in. Why did I need to stay? I felt weak but knew deep down that I am stronger than what my head was telling me. I am not stronger within myself. I am stronger because of Him.
I have decided that this is the year of strong. I no longer look to my outsides to determine the health of my insides. I stand confident in my strength because I know where my strength comes from. And when I feel weak and like I should quit, that’s when I am at my strongest because I have to dig deep to find it.
Knowing I can complete a workout, feel good, and not pass out means far more to me than the number on the scale. How I feel on the inside about myself far outweighs how I look on the outside. This year, as I leave my thirties and enter my forties, I want to be physically stronger than I have ever been. I want to tackle those hand-stand push-ups like a boss and beat the boys on our laps. And when all is said and done and I am a sweaty mess, I will confidently know the One who pushed me through.
The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.” Psalm 28:7
Love & Blessings,
Meg
NO Regrets
I looked over at my husband during worship at church and thought, “I want to enjoy this guy for forever.” I just want to enjoy him. I don’t want to try and change him, nag him, or ask him to do all the things. I …